Boarding School
by death-in-the-orchard
Summary: Alucard and Seras are sent to infiltrate a boarding school
1. Chapter 1

"Alright, Alucard." Integra looked at him doubtfully. "Are you really going to be able to infiltrate a boarding school?" a frown refused to move from her face and she grimaced at the thought.

"Of course, Master." He smiled deviously, and gestured towards Ceres. "The police girl may have a problem though."

"What do you mean, Master?" her eye twitched. "I'm not that old."

"That's not what I meant." Alucard continued to smile, unnerving his fledgling. He pointed at her chest. "Not many teenagers have chests like that."

Ceres covered her chest with her arms, horrified. "M…Master!"

Alucard chuckled and was uninterrupted as Walter walked in. The old man glanced at Ceres and then at one of the boxes he was carrying.

"I had a hard time getting the seamstress to believe the measurements I gave her, Miss Victoria." He smiled slightly as Ceres' face burned.

"Don't make fun of me." She whined quietly and took the box as it was handed to her. She paused, sniveling. "Can I open it?" she looked at Walter who gave her a more reassuring smile.

"Of course you can Miss Victoria." He waved his hand to encourage her.

A navy blue, white, and yellow plaid skirt, a white polo shirt, and a navy blue sweater were pulled out carefully. Ceres drew out the knee high black socks, emptying the box, and smiled at the uniform. "It's so cute."

"You'll be passing as a senior high school student." Integra said with less doubt than she had for Alucard. "You have a few other pairs that have already been sent to your dorm. And, as for Alucard…" she sighed and looked at him.

"At least pretend to have some faith in me." Alucard took the box that was identical to Ceres'. Opening it, he drew out a smaller version of the uniform Ceres was holding. Ceres and Integra gawked.

Integra cracked a slight smile of relief. "Now Alucard can't go. But Walter…" she looked at him with confusion. "Did you pick up the wrong box or did they mix up the order?"

"No. I ordered this uniform specifically and had it fitted like I did for Ceres." The old man said.

"WHAT?" Integra and Ceres said together and gawked at Walter.

Integra got up and felt his forehead, removing her gloves. Noting that he didn't have a fever, she looked at him with sympathy. "I'm sorry Walter."

"What?" he said confused.

"I think you're going senile."

Alucard laughed, catching their attention, and he pulled out the polo shirt.

"I guess it is a little funny." Ceres smiled.

"Walter's not senile." Alucard said suddenly, continuing to chuckle.

"What do you mean?" Integra turned to him. Can vampires become senile? She thought uneasily.

"They're the correct measurements I gave you." Alucard said to Walter. "It's perfect." Walter smiled and Ceres nearly fainted as Integra sputtered.

"Alucard! There is no way you could ever pull that off!" she stopped as the clothes disappeared and Alucard turned into a shadow of darkness. When he reformed his red eyes were bright under his bangs and he smiled, twirling his long hair with a gloved finger.

"See? A perfect fit."

"Ma…aas…ter?" Ceres choked out, pointing a shaking finger. "What the hell?"

"I'm a little girl." He said simply and Walter chortled in the corner, having seen Integra's aghast expression. To shock them further, Alucard skipped out of the room, phasing through the wall.

Silence.

"You planned this!" Integra glared accusingly at Walter who bowed and stepped back, retreating from the room.

"It was a bit of fun. I'm old and was looking for a form of amusement. I believe Alucard has rubbed off on me a bit, too." He smiled before closing the door behind himself.

Ceres was left sitting on the floor in a daze.


	2. Chapter 2

"Well, hello there." Pip peered down at the young girl who was perhaps thirteen years old. "I think you're lost."

"No. I'm not."

Pip blinked, taken aback by her forceful way of speaking. He was at least a foot taller than her, and his eye patch and visible gun would usually unnerve people, little girls or not. "Do you know where you are?"

"Yes." The girl flashed him a mischievous smile.

"Okay..." He gave a heavy sigh and looked at the girl's uniform for a moment. "How did you get in here?"

"I'm always here."

"No." Pip pinched the bridge of his nose, feeling an oncoming headache. "I would have seen you before."

The girl continued to smile, awaiting the next question. Annoyed, the mercenary folded his arms.

"I know you're cute and all, but that's not going to get you out of trouble. You're trespassing on private property and…" he blinked as Walter stared at him over the rail of the stairs.

"Thank God, it's Walter." He turned to the old man and gestured towards the girl. "I found this strange girl and I swear I have no idea how she got in and…" his voice trailed off as he failed to think of something more to say. "Can you help me out?"

"It's fine." Walter said, cracking a smile.

"Are you enjoying yourself, Walter?" Alucard tucked his arms behind his head and smirked.

"Wait a sec….you know…?" Pip began, confused, and he turned and looked at the two repetitively.

"That's Alucard." Walter said.

Pip was silent for a second, then he turned and pointed at Alucard with a gaping mouth.

Alucard grinned wickedly. "I'm glad you think I'm cute."

Pip began to pronounce every curse he knew in French and various other languages, excluding English.

"Master?" Ceres was walking down the stairs and she stopped next to Walter to stare at Pip. "Walter?" she muttered. "What's going on?"

"Entertainment." The butler chuckled.

"What happened, though?" she looked down at her master and his eyes moved to hers.

"He thinks I'm cute." Alucard inclined his head towards the cursing mercenary, keeping his arms behind his head. He gave a satisfied laugh as he saw the recognition hit her and she gagged.


	3. Chapter 3

Alucard stared at the passing students, unnerving some of them and causing a group of girls to glare at him. Ceres watched her Master as she rolled their luggage behind her, passing the entrance gate after Walter had dropped them off. She stopped next to him with a sigh. She jolted when a lanky boy whistled at her from his skateboard, on the outskirts of a group of teens. He got his friends to start harassing her as they passed by.

Inconspicuously, Alucard stuck out his foot and abruptly stopped the skateboard so that the boy flew off and landed on his face. The quad fell silent for a moment, then people either laughed at the skateboarder, ignored him, or scowled and cursed at Alucard who was grinning smugly.

"You little…!" shrieked the teen as he got up and he loomed over Alucard who continued to smile at him.

"Bitch? I'm used to being called a bastard, but thanks for the warm welcome to your school anyway." The boy's face twisted in confusion and his friends crowded around them. "It makes me feel so at home."

He grabbed Alucard's sweater viciously and growled in his face. "Damn…!"

"Wait!" the boys turned to Ceres, having forgotten about her. The skateboarder let go of Alucard and the ring loosened as the group stepped back. Ceres went to Alucard's side and stared at them anxiously. "We weren't supposed to draw attention!" she whispered and then frowned when she saw her master's amusement.

"Youths these days." He chuckled, but it sounded more like a giggle. "Picking on a little girl?"

"Come on…stop it." Ceres pleaded, ineffectively.

"Brats like these…" Alucard continued.

"Shit. This girl…!" the boy with the skateboard cursed, and glared at Alucard, but was intimidated by the big red eyes that stared back at him. "W…Whatever." They left and Ceres smiled with relief as Alucard grinned with satisfaction.

"Now let's get out of the sun." he started for the building before them and Ceres hurried after him.

Ceres looked at the woman who had come to give them their dorm keys with pity as the old woman gawked at Alucard's brass character. There was an elevator and Ceres almost expected her master to close the doors before she got in, but he didn't and she leaned against the side of the elevator, and worried about the teenagers that they had angered.

Two girls slipped into the elevator before the door closed. They were giggling and gossiping, engrossed in their own world, but they paused when they noticed Ceres.

"Wow! How did you get them so big?" one of the girls burst out, and Alucard coughed and then chuckled when he saw Ceres' face turn beet red.

Well…this is a girl's dorm…Ceres eyed Alucard with disapproval before smiling at the girls nervously. "I don't know." She put her hand behind her head and laughed slightly. "I used to drink a lot of milk."

"Really?" Alucard sniggered and Ceres put her arm down, blushing indignantly.

"Are those contacts?" the other girl asked, referring to Alucard's eyes.

"No."

"Is something wrong with you? Like a disease or genetic defect?"

Ceres smiled to herself, and Alucard grinned darkly, startling the girls.

"Red eyes are weird but freakishly huge boobs are cool?"

"Hey!" Ceres yelled in protest and the doors opened. The girls ran out, leaving the vampires behind. "They're not freakishly…."

"They are. Accept it."

***

"I'd rather have my coffin." Alucard was looking his bed over while Ceres put her clothes away.

She glanced at him, unsurprised. "I like my bed."

"Of course you would." Ceres heard the faint creaking of springs when Alucard sat on his bed and then fell backwards with his arms outstretched across it.

Ceres yawned, covering her mouth with her hand out of habit, still holding on to her socks. "I'm so tired."

Alucard was quiet, blowing strands of hair out of his face. A knock came from the door. A group of giggling girls smiled when Ceres opened the door.

"Hi!" a girl handed Ceres a basket. "We're the welcoming committee here to make sure you settle in and are comfortable in our school."

"Thanks." Ceres looked at all of the candy doubtfully. "Would you like to share some of…"

"Yes!" the girls rushed in happily. One of them yelped when she almost sat on Alucard. The other girls stared at him in surprise.

"Yeah…" he sat up and looked at Ceres with a frown. "Why'd you invite them in?"

"You shouldn't talk to your roommate like that." The girl who had almost sat of Alucard defended Ceres.

Alucard ignored her and plopped back down on the bed.


	4. Chapter 4

Alucard didn't make an effort in hiding his disgust as he cringed visibly whenever he heard the screeching of girlish laughter. He threw a pillow at a girl who attempted to go through his luggage. Lying back on the bed he ignored the outcries of fury from the girls, closing his eyes with a smug smile.

"Ugh." A brunette shuddered and turned away from Alucard, looking at Ceres with sympathy. "I feel so sorry for you…um…I'm sorry, I don't remember your name." She smiled nervously.

"Ceres Vi…Hellsing." She blinked at the unfamiliarity of the name.

"Ceres? That's a pretty name." chirped in some of the girls and a calm settled over the group.

"What's her name?" one of the girls indicated Alucard with a flick of her hair.

"Alucard." The girl flinched when he spoke. "Nice to meet you." The girls frowned at his obvious sarcasm.

"Isn't that a boy's name?"

"Yeah." He chuckled darkly.

"Noonday classes are going to start soon." The brunette girl stood up, straightening her skirt. "We should probably be going."

"Okay." Ceres got up with a smile from where she had been sitting in a circle on the floor with the other girls.

The girls grimaced when Alucard followed them out the door.

****

Alucard stood out in the quad with the group of girls that had gravitated towards his fledgling. A sudden burst of wind didn't faze him and he wondered why the girls made such a fuss. He noticed the police girl's odd stare and he looked down.

Oh. The skirt.

The wind passed as he strode towards the nearest boy. He grabbed the boy's shoulder as he was sitting at the base of the stairs, making the teen start and turn around.

"Uh…" the boy hesitated as he saw the cute girl standing over him and the group of hot chicks making their way towards him.

"Give me your pants."

Ceres tripped and almost face-planted on the concrete while the other girls froze. The boy's face was blank. He laughed nervously.

"Sorry, I didn't catch that…"

"Give me your pants. I'll trade." Alucard indicated the skirt.

"Hey!" Ceres grabbed him and turned him around, whispering in his ear with a deep blush across her cheeks. "What are you doing?"

"I hate the damn thing. I haven't worn a skirt in the 500 plus years of my existence and I've decided I'm not going to start now." Alucard was frowning.

"Then I'll get you another uniform." Ceres muttered, her eye twitching in annoyance. "You can't force some random person…" She paused as she felt the weight of the stares and noticed that the boy had gotten up and was standing next to them now.

"Is your friend right in the head?"

Ceres laughed and grabbed her pony tail to buy some time to think. "N…" Her body went rigid and her laugh became strained as the red eyes glared at her. "Yes." She said hurriedly.

"Where can I exchange the uniform?"

Ceres blinked and looked down to see her Master standing in front of the boy impatiently.

"Lost and found?" the boy smiled awkwardly, but recoiled at Alucard's twisted grin.

"You want me to steal?"

"You were going to freaken mug me for my pants and now you….!" The boy yelled, attracting attention from the passerbys. The group of girls inched away from them slowly while Ceres stood with a miserable expression on her face.

"I was going to trade with you. There's a big difference." The vampire cut in, brushing away a strand of hair.

The boy growled and Alucard smirked, cocking an eyebrow.

"Come on." Ceres groaned, grabbing Alucard's arm. "Let's just go already. We're going to be late for class and we each need to figure out where our classrooms are now that you've scared those girls away."

Alucard looked back at the spot where the girls had been as Ceres dragged him behind her.

"Oh. So they did have some use." Alucard began to walk faster, dragging Ceres along with him until she managed to let go.

"Where are you going? That's not where the classrooms are." Ceres stammered, glancing over her shoulder at the direction they were supposed to be heading for.

"I'm going to steal some pants."

Alucard left the fledgling behind when she stopped following him. When he disappeared into the office building she spun on her heel and made for the classrooms, thankful that they had yet to receive their textbooks so her backpack was nearly empty.

****

Alucard was shifting through the clothes in the basket marked Lost and Found with peeling tap. He pulled the garments out and tossed them on the floor with a scowl as they didn't appear to be what he was looking for.

"Who loses these things?" he tossed a pink bra on the ground and it landed on a woman's high heeled shoe. The red glint caught his eye and he looked at them for a moment before peering up at the agitated woman. "Nice shoes." He chuckled as she glared daggers at him and clucked her tongue.

"You should be in class." Her arms were crossed, and her foot tapped on the ground as she continued to glare at him. She gasped when Alucard returned to making a mess of the lost and found.

"I want to change my uniform."

The woman paused, glancing at the black haired girl's clothes. "Why?" she said, impressed by their high quality.

"The damn skirt keeps flying up."

The woman laughed while an embarrassed blush colored her face. "Just hold it down, Deary."

Alucard froze and stared at her for a moment. As fear began to grip the woman's heart, Alucard smirked and his hand dove into the basket and pulled out a pair of pants along with a navy blue jacket that was obviously too big for him.

"Never mind, Deary." He flashed a smile at her, kicking off his shoes and pulling the pants on. He slid the shoes back onto his feet and unzipped the skirt. He then tossed it into the basket and grabbed the mass of clothes, throwing them in after it. Alucard walked out the door, holding the jacket over his shoulder with a gloating expression on his face.

The woman returned to her desk and collapsed into the chair with a thankful sigh. "How do the parents manage?" she grumbled and rested her palms on the desk, replaying the unpleasant experience in her head.


	5. Chapter 5

"I've been informed that you have breached the school dress code, Alucard."

Ceres watched her Master's face as she sat on her bed with two of her new friends. He was emotionless as he listened to Walter on the phone after she had given it to him. Suddenly he handed her the phone and she hesitated, giving him a confused look.

"But you haven't even said anything yet."

"Exactly, so he won't know if it's me he's talking to or you."

She took the phone and he went to his bed.

"Alucard! Do you know how long it took to….!" Walter continued to speak loudly and his voice rung in Ceres' ear. Wincing, she held the phone away from herself with a miserable expression on her face. One of the girls heard the voice and she glared at Alucard who ignored her. She snatched the phone out of Ceres' hand and smiled at the growl she received from Alucard.

"Your daughter gave the phone to her roommate." She continued to give Alucard a smug look, waiting for him to show more annoyance. She flinched when he howled with laughter.

She heard the line go silent and then a stuttering voice resume. "W…well." Cough. "Alucard is not m..my daughter." The girl heard a voice and a short laugh in the background. "Do you know why h…she wanted to change her uniform?"

The girl smiled again, losing her lost look. "Probably because she ended up flashing the whole quad." Alucard's face deadened to indifference and then morphed into twisted humor. The girl heard a loud thump and then an alarmed voice.

"You might have just killed Walter." Alucard snickered from the bed and the girl paled.

"Hello? HELLO?" she gazed at Ceres with desperation. "Oh my God."

Somehow the voice must have heard her for it suddenly came through the speaker of the phone.

"He just fainted. What happened? What did you say?" The harsh voice intimidated the girl into repeating herself.

"Alucard ended up flashing the quad because her skirt got caught in the wind."

There was a pause.

"Oh." The voice was more like a groan of disgust and there was more silence.

"Oh no! Are you okay? You sound ill!" the girls confusion was making her panic and she glowered at Alucard as the silence persisted. "It's not my fault! How can you disgust even your mother this much?"

"I AM NOT HIS MOTHER!"

Alucard practically giggled with delight at the sound of his Master's voice. "I'm glad you feel so strongly on the matter."

He had taken the phone and now stood before the unnerved girls.

"Is Walter alright?" Alucard said with a smirk as he read the concerned look in Ceres' eyes.

"With some therapy." Integra muttered darkly.

"Oh, come now. Don't be so dramatic. I would make a cute daughter."

"Don't give me nightmares, Alucard. I need my sanity." Integra sighed on the phone.

"That's just rude."

"Give the phone to Ceres, Alucard. I'm done talking to you." Integra barked and Alucard continued to chuckle and he handed the phone to Ceres.

"Mommy wants to talk to you." Ceres grimaced at his corrupt smile and took the phone. Her face molded into an expression of pity when she heard Integra's response to the additional comment.

"I'm sorry Sir, just think happy thoughts."

Integra groaned again. "I keep picturing Alucard, the real Alucard, in a dress calling me that…or the wind…." The voice was cut off as Integra shuddered and Ceres' face paled.

"Ew."

"Hey. No inappropriate thoughts." Alucard cut in and Ceres glared at him.

"It's your fault."

"It always is, isn't it? I'm just a bad child." Alucard threw himself on his bed, fluffing up his pillow before tossing it on the floor with a sickened expression.

"The woman on the phone called you a guy."

Alucard glanced at the girl. "Hm."

"You don't care?"

"I prefer it."

The girls gasp, except for Ceres who was still on the phone, but she looked at them in confusion.

"You want a sex change or something?" the girls' eyes were wide.

"No." the vampire responded flatly. "Just forget it. You're annoying."

"Well, so are you." a voice returned sharply.

Alucard chuckled darkly making her recoil. "You sound like Walter."

"Was that the man on the phone?"

Alucard nodded with a flashing smile. "You sound like an old man, but then again, he said the same thing when he was younger."

"What?"

Alucard ignored their confusion and turned away from them and closed his eyes.

"No. Nothing yet." Ceres answered Integra's question on whether they had found the vampire or not. Integra sighed and then told her to watch Alucard before saying goodbye.

"Bye."

The phone clicked when she put it on its charging stand. She looked at her Master and paused. The girls watched her walk over to Alucard and they followed, hesitantly.

"Wow. She's really pretty when she's not being annoying."

Ceres didn't look at the girl as she watched Alucard sleep. "Maybe I should get some sleep to. I didn't sleep at all last night and I stayed up all day."

The girls gave her their sympathy and left the room. Ceres decided to leave Alucard alone and began to change into her pajamas though the sun was not supposed to set for another two or so hours. She jumped when Alucard spoke.

"We'll search the grounds around midnight."

Ceres scrambled to throw her clothes over herself and she whipped around with a trembling frown.

"Master!"

He gave her a bored expression. "What? All I saw were polka-dots, police girl. Nothing that interesting."

He smirked at her indignant expression and flushed face. Her teeth clenched in suppressed anger.

"That's mean."

"Get some sleep."

He fell back on the bed again and Ceres climbed into hers, taking the liberty of claiming her Master's discarded pillow. She smiled when she brought the covers over herself and nestled into the soft fabric, quickly willing away any possible nightmares.


	6. Chapter 6

Searching the grounds produced nothing that could indicate where the vampire might be hiding. The vampires returned an hour before dawn and managed to sleep until the squeals of girls getting ready for school crept under the door. Alucard didn't say anything that morning and none of Seras' friends said anything to him in return. Seras, though, could be said to radiate with joy at the temporary peace.

Alucard left the group after enduring their chatter for ten minutes and headed towards his first period class. The classroom was locked when he got there and he stared at the yellow light that illuminated the window on the door. He knocked once, then twice and received no answer. Too tired to want to walk through the door and then have to explain how he had gotten in, he sat down in front of it, placing the blue satchel that held his textbooks next to him.

More time passed and when boredom finally began to creep up on Alucard's mind, the door opened to reveal a shriveled math teacher who stared at him blankly for a moment before frowning.

"Ms. Hellsing, I'll presume?" He screwed up his eyes behind the lens of his thick rimmed glasses, noticing the oversized jacket. "Those clothes are why you didn't come to my class yesterday?"

Alucard was distracted by the way he had addressed him, but he let it slide and got up and walked past the old man and claimed a random seat. The teacher gasped at the blatant show of disrespect and he closed the door sharply, releasing some of his frustration.

"You understand, you cannot attend classes like this." Red eyes moved to him, making the man start. He cleared his throat, ashamed that he had brought so much attention to the unfortunate genetic defect.

"Do one's clothes affect how one performs in school?" Alucard's face was devoid of emotion as he stared at the flustered man.

"That isn't the issue. You are not respecting the rules of this school and are not…" The bell rang loudly and a song drowned out the man's words as the five minutes before school began. Students started to file into the room and the teacher huffed and retreated to his desk while Alucard stared the table he was sitting at.

Momentarily, he noticed a body standing in front of him and his eyes flicked up to reveal an agitated girl wearing far too much perfume. He flinched at the smell as she spoke.

"That's my desk." Her hand fell to her hip and her eyes narrowed, but Alucard ignored her.

"You smell."

A few of the students who were passing by stopped and gave Alucard an incredulous look before they continued on their individual ways. The rows of curved tables that were raised towards the back of the room, led the front to function as a stage and the students were able to watch the confrontation in comfort.

"Your eyes are ugly, so move." The girl smirked, anticipating her victory to be showered in a burst of tears from the girl in her seat, but Alucard merely stared at her. The vampire remained silent until the last student entered the room and the teacher coughed behind the girl.

"Ms. Hellsing, you are deliberately trying to cause trouble?" he gave a frown of disapproval and told Alucard to go to the front of the room to be introduced. He got up slowly and picked up the navy blue bag and slung it over his shoulder, leaving the angry girl to quickly claim her seat. When he turned at the front of the room, she gave him an evil grin. Alucard pretended not to notice and waited as the teacher introduced himself as Mr. Heffner and then asked Alucard to say his name aloud.

"Alucard." The vampire said in complete monotone, refusing to acknowledge the name the professor had called him and he walked down the aisle closest to the still grinning teen and went to the back of the room, a full row distancing him from the nearest student. The room was silent and Mr. Heffner's exasperated grunt was clearly heard by all of the eyes that stared at the strange red-eyed girl.

The classroom slowly fell back into normality as the teacher droned on about the upcoming final exam and the homework from the day before. Here the man paused and looked up at Alucard as the shuffling of papers and the working of zippers and binders were heard. He walked up the aisle and stood before him, pretending to be discreet in his proceeding, but his raised voice soon attracted the room's attention.

"Do you have the homework, Ms. Hellsing?" the sea of eyes blinked, knowing that it was impossible for the girl to have known what the homework had been.

"I was absent." Alucard looked up into the clearly satisfied expression.

"Wait outside until we have finished going over it. I'll give you the assignment and you can work quietly until you are called." Mr. Heffner spun on his heal in a practiced motion and went to his desk and pulled out a pad of sticky notes and scrawled the pages and numbers before ripping a sticky note off neatly. By then, Alucard was approaching the end of the aisle. As he neared the smell of perfume, the girl stuck out her foot in front of his shoe. Without hesitating he stepped on the offering leaving the girl in tears. She stood up awkwardly and then sat down again, unsure about reporting the incident to the teacher. She eyed the satchel Alucard had left at the back of the room when he closed the door.

Minutes passed, and the teacher forgot about the disruptive girl until the sound of the door handle turning made his hand pause on the whiteboard. Alucard started towards the aisle but a familiar cough stopped him.

"We haven't finished." Mr. Heffner clicked the cap back onto the blue marker and turned to face Alucard who remained expressionless, though he almost portrayed boredom at the glare he was receiving.

"Well, I have."

A heavy silence resumed, broken by a low growl. Without a word of instruction, the teacher held out his hand expectantly and Alucard walked to the board, removing the Geometry textbook from under his arms in a way that it fell open to where two pages of lined paper were neatly tucked. The teacher observed the numbers and geometric shapes without a word and the papers rustled in his hands as he looked over the answers, pausing to check them in the back of the book which was on a stand that stood beside him. When he got to the last question he froze, only his eyes moving to look at the silent vampire.

"How did you finish them so quickly?" he demanded quietly. "Did another student lend you their answers?"

"No." Alucard paused as the man held out a hand for the textbook. The trading of the textbook and the papers took only a second, but minutes passed as the old man meticulously examined each page. Chattering soon filled the silence as he licked his hand to turn to page one hundred and four. When he was done, students were laughing, not caring if they were heard as the sheer multitude of voices would make identifying them impossible. The thundering echo of the book as it was shut abruptly in the teacher's hands caused a hush to fall on the room.

When the book had been returned to Alucard and he to his desk, Mr. Heffner struggled to hide his crossness by jabbing his marker into the board, forgetting to take off the cap. He glared at the dent in the whiteboard.

Homework was finished and notebooks and papers appeared as the day's lesson began. Without the option of looking out a window, Alucard crossed his legs under the reddish wood of his table and watched the teacher move about before the board, his marker squeaking occasionally. Time passed and Mr. Heffner now faced his class, waiting for them to finish the example he had written. His eyes ran over the bent faces, row by row, stopping on Alucard who looked back at him. The man's eyes fell to the area before the vampire, finding it void of the notes that should have been present. A frown wrinkled his mouth and his eyes went back to Alucard.

"Ms. Hellsing, I see you are finished before the rest of the class. What answer do you have written…Oh!" he didn't even try to show any false surprise as he looked at the empty table. "Where are your notes?"

"I don't need any. If I need instruction I have the book. Isn't that why you gave it to me?"

A scowl escaped before Heffner could calm himself. He smiled after a moment and gestured towards the example on the board.

"Please show me how well this works for you by answering the problem, my dear." His smile deepened when Alucard's eyes deadened, but he almost jolted when the vampire got up and went to the board. Moments later, in neat print, the answer alone rested beneath the question. The teacher's lips parted in surprise.

"You mean to tell me, Ms. Hellsing, that you were able to work out the square root of 289 in your head? The length of…" his voice trailed off as he realized he was beginning to speak to himself. He looked at Alucard with mild annoyance. "You must have used a calculator." He muttered. His eyes widened and he blushed when Alucard answered, not having thought that the girl could have heard him.

"I only worked it out to the fifth decimal place. But, I was wondering if I could just take the exam you mentioned earlier, or if I could so that I wouldn't have to came to your class in the morning." Alucard thought of the idea of being able to sleep for another hour and a half, and of avoiding having to see the police girl's friends.

Mr. Heffner sputtered and his eyes widened as a few voices chirped out in surprise. He blinked and his lips twitched. "F..fine! You can resume your place outside and you can take the exam during the remaining forty minutes of class, but mind, this will be your final grade. You cannot retake it."

Students looked at Alucard as if he was insane when he walked out the door with nothing but a pencil and the exam. Mr. Heffner didn't seem to be able to regain his calm, and he gritted his teeth more than once after he sloppily wrote examples without explaining how to do them. Twenty minutes ticked by and the door opened again, making students gasp and whisper. Mr. Heffner was beat red and he indignantly grabbed the exam out of Alucard's hands when it was offered to him. Alucard gave a tired sigh and went back to his seat. He put his head on the table and closed his eyes, sitting up once to move his arm under his head. The students were amazed as the teacher stopped the class to look over the answers in a folder that now lay open on his desk.

Alucard looked up when the man appeared before him, as white as a ghost.

"You may leave, Ms. Hellsing. I've written you a pass so that you may go to the library for the rest of the period, but you will have to go to come with me to explain why you won't be attending my class for the rest of the year."

"Year?" Alucard was sitting up now.

"I…" Heffner hesitated and bowed his head in shame. "I've seem to have given you the second semester exam…for my advanced placement class." He cleared his throat and Alucard's eyes widened and his lips turned to form a wicked grin.

"Like Hell you did that by accident." Alucard took the pass from the teachers hand as the man's head shot up at the vampire's words. Alucard took up his bag and threw it over his shoulder.

"Goodbye then, Mr. Heffner. It was a pleasure meeting you." The vampire's eyes flashed dangerously, making the old man start. Alucard walked passed him and the rows of shocked expressions, stopping only to grin at the perfume drenched girl. "You can have the seat, but you still smell."

Alucard's next class was chemistry and he glowered at the irony. He went to the class when the bell rang and demanded to take the final exam, for the second semester, before he introduced himself. After a few minutes of enduring Alucard's disrespect, the woman who was to be his teacher left to retrieve the exam. He handed it in twenty minutes later, and while the students worked on some problems that were scrawled on the board, she wrote his pass to leave the class with a shaky hand.

Without bothering to wait for the end of the period, Alucard moved to his next class and the next, demanding to take the history and French finals. The English final was done during lunch, and he left to see his gym teacher. He nearly made the burly man faint when, an hour later, he had run twenty miles without breaking a sweat. (Alucard of course had been trying to go at a fast pace for a _human_)

Alucard spent his 5th and 6th periods sleeping in the library. At the bell signaling the end of the school day, Alucard left to wait for his teachers in the office. When he sat before the desk of a familiar, red-shoed woman, he had a grin that made her shudder.

Alucard slammed the door, making Seras squeak. He glared at the circle of girls doing their math homework as they chattered about God knows what.

"Where were you?" Seras managed as he turned to throw his satchel on his bed and himself after it. Burying his head in a pillow, he mumbled. A moment of silence drew his head away from the cloth and he tossed the pillow on the ground.

"Taking every accursed final exam this school has to offer. I score full points for all of them and the morons insist that in order to stay here I must be enrolled in at least three academic classes." He scowled at the memory and looked at the digital clock on the nightstand that showed it was 5:45 pm in big blue numbers.

"What?" Seras and the girls stammered and one of the girls stood up. Alucard recognized the brunet as she walked over to his bed.

"What the hell are you talking about?" She demanded and Alucard glanced at the Calculus book in her hand. He cursed under his breath.

"I chose three of your classes." He looked at Seras and she sat stunned for a moment. "Calculus, Art History, and English." He lay back down as the brunet gasped and Seras began to cry.

"I'm in the same history and math class as her!" her fist shook as she looked at the black hair laying face down on the bed.

"I'm as happy about it as you are." He mumbled and fell asleep.

Integra looked at the clock that read 5:55 pm, and she fixed a pile of papers on her desk before stretching her arms over her head. The phone on her desk began to ring and she composed herself before answering.

"Hello, this is Integra Hellsing…"

"Hello." said a serious voice, the tone startling Integra and she groaned at the thought of Alucard causing some more trouble at the school. "Are you the mother of Ms. Alucard Hellsing?"

Hesitantly, Integra answered that she was his guardian.

"I am Mr. Harris, the principle of Ms. Hellsing's school."

God. Integra closed her eyes and took out a cigar.

"I would like to inform you, if you do not already know, that Alucard is what one can call special."

Indeed. Integra blew out a lungful of smoke.

"Today, Ms. Hellsing took every second semester final we offer at our school. She can graduate at this point and can most likely enroll in any college of her choice, but she insisted on remaining at the school with her relative, Seras Hellsing. As her guardian, I think it is in her best interest that you enlighten her on how gifted she is to be of such an intellectual level at her age. She is a genius by definition, and has broken the mile record, two mile record, and every mile record at our school. Ms. Hellsing should not be permitted to waste her gifts…"

"Excuse me?" Integra's cigar had fallen into her lap and she picked it up and tossed it into her ash tray. "Alucard…a genius?"

"Yes. She is beyond even that title."

Integra was silent for almost a minute. "She will stay enrolled at your school none the less."

The phone gasped. "But…!" Integra hung up with a tired sigh, and slowly returned it to its receiver.

She pushed a few buttons on the phone after a moment and brought it to her ear. When a voice answered she sighed again. Walter frowned at the sound.

"Alucard has been deemed a child prodigy." She hung up.


	7. Chapter 7

Alucard could now sleep until 12:30 pm, having to get up to go to 4th through 6th periods. Seras had found if surprisingly easy to forget about him as he slept in the back of the classroom without being bothered by the teacher, except to contribute to a discussion. The teachers were enthralled or simply awed by his intelligence, and they used him as a live encyclopedia, not having to look up quotes from books or dates of battles as he gave muffled answers from his arm.

The history teacher insisted that he write essays like the rest of the class so that she could admire the old English style of writing he used. All of the teachers agreed that the strange girl was…well strange….rude…antisocial…brilliant…the perfect definition of a genius. Alucard wasn't all that bothered by the title, it kept the other students at a safe distance, though he was occasionally confronted by some of the more aspiring ones. A nerd asked for his hand in marriage and Alucard consented to give him his fist. None of the nerds had bothered him since.

The night patrol was left to Alucard so that Seras could sleep during the night and watch the school by day. You could say she was practically radiating with joy. Two weeks passed and no sign of the vampire, accept for a few anemic students turned up with a needle puncture on their arm. The vampire was drawing their blood and storing it…making Alucard suspect the school nurse, but she was extremely human so he left her alone and continued to stalk the corridors and the rooftops at night.

It was a Monday night and the moon was full. Alucard wandered through the shadows of the buildings, straining his senses for anything suspicious. A presence on the roof across the quad caught his attention and he moved towards it only to find that it was a human. A teenage boy. Alone. The last detail caught the vampire's interest.

He stopped next to the wall, directly beneath where the boy stood on the ledge on the roof. The vampire's eyes narrowed.

"Get away from the edge you…!" Alucard growled in annoyance when the boy jumped with his eyes closed. He waited for the second it took for the body to fall and then he caught the teen who gasped. "MORON!"Wide eyes gazed up at Alucard who promptly dropped him on the concrete and slipped into the shadows.

At 12:30, Alucard took his seat in the back of his English class. He couldn't sleep during the period as, to his annoyance, he felt the pressing weight of someone staring at him, so he sat up, alert, and shifted through the faces. He made his way to his history class at the end of the period and slipped into the room, to avoid attracting the teacher's attention. Mrs. Flore would try and corner him to start up some idiotic conversation, but he always escaped before she could start. He was nicely hidden in the back of the room and he dropped his satchel to the floor and leaned on his arms, closing his eyes. Students laughed and gossiped as they entered through the open door, and he let their voices become a buzz in the back of his mind. His eyes shot open and he sat up to find someone towering over him.

"It was you, wasn't it?" the boy spoke in a low tone, obviously unsure about his question. Basketball player, was the first thing that passed through Alucard's mind, and without the scent of a virgin…he was probably a popular jock.

"What?" Alucard watched detachedly as the boy gathered the courage to speak again. A sudden draft moved the air and Alucard's eyes widened slightly. "Oh, you're Suicide-boy."

Shocked beyond thought, the boy stepped back and paled. A moment passed and he nodded. Alucard frowned. "Don't let me find you jumping off the roof any time soon. Don't let yourself fall into that damned path, fool."

"I wanted to say thank you." He muttered, looking at Alucard with surprise. "You're really frank, you know."

Alucard smiled. "So I hear."

"But you're really smart and athletic, right? I mean, you caught me…"

The door closed and the teacher was walking to the front of the stage like arrangement of the room. She noticed the boy and Alucard and paused.

"Mr. Blake, if you would be so kind as to sit d…" the class froze, including Alucard, when he set his backpack down next the vampire and circled around the table to take a seat. Whispers erupted from the girls and the boys were just horrified. "Um…" Mrs. Flore frowned but decided to ignore him, thinking that it would be good for her star pupil to be more social.

As she continued, Alucard stared at the boy who tried not to look at him. Seras and the brunet, along with half the class, were turned around in their seats, watching them. This only ended when the teacher threatened to change the day of their exam to today. But this didn't stop a few furtive glances. Seras' friend, the brunet, Harriet, was practically seething and she broke her pencil with a loud snap in the middle of the period.

Alucard tried to ignore the boy and settled to sleep, but his whisper woke him up.

"You wander around the school at night, so that's why you sleep during every class?"

"Every?" Alucard gave up sleeping and crossed his legs as he sat up, out of habit.

"We share the same 4th through 6th period classes."

"You were the one staring at me last period." The boy flinched, making Alucard's eyes narrow. "Don't do that again."

"I..I know, its rude." He glanced down at the red eyes. "I'm just curious now…you saved my life."

"Move on. It's not that amazing."

"Maybe not for you." He said somewhat bitterly and he looked at the teacher who was oblivious to their quiet conversation. "You don't even need to be here."

"Yes, but I _have_ to be here." The vampire didn't bother to look to see if anyone was listening. They were three rows behind everyone else. "I don't really care about school anyway, it's useless. Well, at least for me."

His mouth opened for a moment before he closed it and thought. "So the rumor's true?"

"What rumor?" Alucard was only slightly interested, quickly becoming bored of the situation.

"That you're the Queen's secret daughter or something. But you can't be Queen because of your genetic defect."

Alucard just stared at him. "Are people here all freaking morons?" he glared at the people in the room, sending a chill down their spines. "Me? A princess? How in blazes could anyone believe that?"

The boy gulped, but quickly collected himself. "Well, your posture and your hand writing and the way you can get away with punching random people."

Alucard's eyes darkened at his words until he mentioned the nerd incident. Here the mood lightened and he chuckled to himself. "You would punch a guy too if he asked you to marry him." The vampire continued to laugh at the joke while the boy seemed taken aback.

"Oh." He leaned back in his chair, looking down towards the whiteboard where the teacher was drawing a diagram for similarities and differences between art periods.

Seras heard her Master's humor with surprise and she turned her head to look at the pair. He seems happy…she thought with confusion, turning to copy down what the teacher was saying. Harriet glared at Alucard for a second and then folded her arms and stared blankly at the board. The boy was smiling slightly.

"Why did you jump off the roof?"

The boy flinched and looked at his paper that was almost entirely blank. "I have to write notes." He muttered and started writing.

"I'll write them, you talk." Alucard took the paper and the boy's pencil, finally finding something to deter his boredom. The boy's story may prove interesting, he mused. The boy looked horrified and he tried to take them back, but Alucard's peculiar handwriting distracted him.

"It reminds me of the writing on the Declaration of Independence." He pointed to the paper when Alucard looked up at him.

The vampire looked at what he had written and shrugged. "Okay."

"It's pretty."

"At least it's not ugly." Alucard responded, continuing to write. "What about your story? Why were you on the roof?"

The boy frowned but soon his lips curled into a smile. "I'll tell you tomorrow."

Alucard's hand froze. His eyes moved to the boy. "Why?"

"Because I don't feel like it and I don't want people thinking I write like a girl." He took the paper and pencil from Alucard's stunned hands.

"I do not write like a girl." He protested with a scowl.

"It's all loopy and pretty."

"It's neat and legible."

"It's girly."

"It's my natural handwriting." Alucard paused and looked at the paper. "It's just old fashioned…so to say."

"It's natural because you're girly, like a princess." Alucard gawked at the boy's smug grin. "G.I.R.L.Y."

"Shut up Suicide-boy."

"Princess."

"Suicide-boy," Alucard's eye twitched. "I dare you to…"

"Princess."

Alucard grabbed his shirt and glared at the boy, their eyes, level.

"I AM NOT A DAMN PRINCESS YOU DUMB BASTARD!"

The class was frozen as Alucard stalked out of the room. As the door slammed, eyes fell on the boy whose grin faltered.

"Mr. Blake." The teacher sighed and capped her pen. "Return to your seat."

Seras was dumbstruck while Harriet was madder than Hell and the pencil she had borrowed from the police girl suffered an agonized death in her fist.

"Sir Integra." Seras said softly, eying Alucard as he slept on his bed and the girls were on the middle of the floor as she sat on her own bed. "Is Master…gay?"

Seras was suddenly shoved and she landed on her face while the girls gasped as Alucard stood on the other side of Seras' bed. Alucard grabbed the phone to find the line to be a mere static. He redialed the number and Integra answered in a weak voice.

"I am not gay. The police girl is simply a moron like everyone else at this school."

The girls stopped helping Seras off the floor and they glared at him and then looked questioningly at Seras.

"Alright. But, Alucard, I've had a bit of a shock, so I'll be hanging up on you now."

The line went dead and the vampire glared at his fledgling.

"Why did you call her police girl?" Harriet ordered, standing in front of Alucard now.

"She wants to be a cop." He muttered while turning for his bed again. His head snapped back when the girl caught hold of his hair. "Let go." His voice was cold and Harriet flinched but she didn't do as he said.

"What is your connection to John?"

"Who the Hell is John? I'll say it one more time, let go." Her grip only tightened, Alucard's eyes flashed.

"John! The boy you screamed at!"

Alucard blinked and exhaled. The girl shrieked when he grabbed her arm and flung her onto Seras' bed, making her let go.

"I want him to tell me something. That's all."

The room was quiet as Harriet sniffled. "You're a freak."

"Like I haven't heard that one before." Alucard left the room, much to their surprise.

The vampire went to the entrance of the girl's dormitory and stepped out, finding the scene just as he had suspected. John was holding the blue satchel and was trying to get in to return it. He looked at Alucard with surprise as the vampire snatched it from his hands and went back to the door. The supervisor scowled when John followed, but she nodded in approval when Alucard shot the boy a glare and told him to leave.

"I'll tell you at lunch tomorrow." He said suddenly, making Alucard stop with his hand on the door. A moment passed and the vampire glanced over his shoulder.

"I'll leave if you try to bring up any other subject and I'll punch out your front teeth if you call me a princess again." He closed the glass door, letting it reflect the boy's smile.

Seras froze as she saw her Master walk into the cafeteria. She looked at Harriet's watch, startling the girl who then noticed Alucard with a deathly stare. 11:57 am. Seras dropped Harriet's hand and apologized before getting up to see what Alucard wanted. She stopped when the tall teen got up from a table in the corner of the room and waved at him. Her eyes followed her Master as he moved in the boy's direction. He looked at her and stopped. He motioned for her to come too, remembering the night before and wondering what would have happened if Seras had been talking to Walter instead of Integra.

Seras followed slowly, but when Harriet noticed her change in direction and who she sat down with, the juicebox in her hand exploded. She dropped the drink and followed the blonde, plopping down next to her, unannounced. John stared at all of the girls.

He looked at Alucard as he was sitting directly across from the vampire. "I thought you were antisocial."

"Relation." He pointed at Seras and then his hand moved to Harriet. "Girl who likes you."

Harriet turned bright red, but John ignored her and looked at Seras. "No way you two are related."

"More like relation through adoption…."

"You're an orphan?" John looked at both of them with pity, making Seras blush.

"Who cares…" Alucard paused looking at Harriet. "Can you leave? We were going to talk about something that I've been waiting to hear about for the past 20 hours."

The girl gave an odd look at the strange wording of his sentence, but she started when Seras shyly asked if she would like to go back to the table with her. Seras made the girl gasp when she dragged her along, accidentally showing off too much of her strength.

John looked from Seras to Alucard again, finding the only similarity between the two. "She's strong like you?"

"Kinda." Alucard waved the question away and rested his hands on the table. "Now talk."

"I feel like I'm being interrogated by a cop." The boy muttered and Alucard smirked.

"She's the police girl, not me." He waved away the next question and John sighed in resignation.

"Alright."

"Good." Alucard's eyes flashed.

There was a pause before John sighed again and looked at the vampire. "I killed someone."


	8. Chapter 8

John was looking at his tray of food, waiting to hear a gasp or a remark about how he was a monster. He ducked his head automatically as he heard the suspected gasp, but the boy started and stared at Alucard as the vampire let out a hysterical cackle.

"Perfect! I see we'll get along wonderfully until the end of lunch." Alucard was beaming as the boy's shock took some of his glee. "Continue. You killed someone, who? When? Where? Why? And do not forget the how."

"You're nuts." The boy breathed and Alucard's smile became more pleasant.

"I'm already aware of that universal opinion. Now continue, boy."

John sighed, glancing around to make sure no one was listening to them. He sighed again and looked down at his neglected tray. "It's a long story."

Alucard was quiet.

John gave a humorless smile and then scowled at the tray. "It happened two weeks ago, during Christmas break, though the death occurred the night before last. But it really began six years ago. My family was always one that limped along, tearing at the seams and leaving pieces of ourselves along the way. My mother was an alcoholic and my dad was worse because he just didn't care. She would get drunk, and my father would just turn up the volume on the television or he would put on earphones as he typed away at his laptop. She was a small time actress and he was a successful stockbroker. I was the child that held nothing in common with either, so that during my mother's drunken rages she would rant about how someone had stolen her child and left me with her. Then she would hit me and then later she would cry." John broke off to scowl and his fist gripped the side of the table until his knuckles turned white and his fingernails began to dig into the wood.

"Yes?"

John didn't respond.

Alucard blinked at how oblivious the boy was of the blood that was forming under his nails and that he had stopped talking, so the vampire grabbed the clenched hand and squeezed it so that the bleeding fingers would throb. John gasped at the pain and looked at Alucard with bright, wide eyes. When he began to talk again, the vampire let go of the hand, glancing at the blood once.

"Well," he chuckled darkly. "…she didn't have to wait long for a better child. She was soon involved with another man and when she announced that she was pregnant, she also announced that she wanted a divorce….it was the first time I had seen my father smile in months."

My mother moved out shortly and the house became quieter, neater, and the bottles of booze disappeared. Life did not include home for me. I went there to sleep, nothing more. It always felt empty, though my father was usually there. She had a daughter, I think she named her Jenifer or Jessica. I met her for the first time when she was three and I was fifteen. It was an accident. My grandfather, on my mother's side, died and left me some money in his will, so I went to his funeral without her knowing. She was furious when she found out and threw such a fuss that I was asked to leave."

I wasn't angry about that. I hardly knew the man, and couldn't feel that attached to him and so felt little when he died. I wasn't jealous of the little girl as I saw how happily she could smile. I was mad that my mother didn't have the decency to be a little less selfish at her own father's funeral, or to at least pretend to like me in front of the rest of my extended family. Sympathy cards I received after that, for my grandfather's death, mentioned my mother. They would apologize that she couldn't control herself, or they would blame me for being a bad son. Most of them were just of pity, the few of hate did nothing because it wasn't true. But the pity burned. It cut me more than anything as it led me to pity myself."

After that time, I started on a familiar teen spiral. Drugs, drinking, parties, girls…" he caught himself and looked apologetically at Alucard who told him not to be stupid. John smiled, but it left him when he carried on. "I only sobered because I thought I knocked some girl up, but it turned out to be a lie. It was actually that brunette girl from before."

John paused as he saw the first signs of the expected surprise on Alucard's face. "Harry? Or Harriet?" Alucard said, trying to remember her name. "That would explain her temper."

"What temper?" John frowned, not thrilled with the possible meaning.

"She threw a pathetic tantrum yesterday." The vampire shrugged. "Grabbed my hair like a child."

"She hurt you?"

"No. But anyway, we're off topic." Alucard motioned with his hands for the boy to continue, but John felt exhausted and said that he was going to go buy a drink as he had lost his appetite.

As soon as John left, Harriet showed up, followed by a nervous Seras. "What are you guys talking about!" she demanded with a harsh whisper.

"It's a secret, girl, so leave." Alucard didn't bother to look up at the girl who was sitting next to him now.

"You don't have any right to…"

"You claim the right to know what we were talking about?" Harriet blushed indignantly at Alucard's straight face. "Go back to the other table, girl."

"Stop calling me that! Stop looking down on me!" the shriek made the entire cafeteria fall silent and eyes found Alucard and glared as they identified him.

"Don't get haughty and bitchy just because you've got the teachers eating out of your hand!" came a voice from a random girl and there were other comments supporting this. Alucard opened his mouth, but suddenly a carton of milk was poured on his head and it dripped into his mouth, making him gag. Silence resumed once more for a moment, then there were cheers and applause by most, though Seras watched in frozen horror. Alucard looked up as the last of the milk dripped on his head, his eyes blazing dangerously, but they widened when another hand appeared. John had returned and he took the empty carton of milk from the other teenage boy and poured the Pepsi he had just bought on the boy's head.

He then grabbed Alucard's wrist and hurried out of the room, leaving behind silence and awe. Alucard slipped his hand out of John's as the bell rang and he headed towards the nearest exit.

"Wait!" John tried to take the vampire's hand again, but Alucard moved away. "I have to take a shower or something. I'm not going to sit for three hours, drenched in milk. I'll meet you by the front of the girl's dorm later, around 4 pm, and you'll finish your story."

"Make it 6 pm. I have basketball practice after school." Alucard raised his hand down the hall to show he had heard.

The vampire Alucard, the No-Life-King, Count Dracula, debated on calling Integra or Walter to inform them that he was going to have to use the girl's dormitory's showers, but he decided against it and he took an unused towel along with his fledgling's shampoo, soap, and conditioner. As he walked down the empty corridor to the bathroom, he noted that all of them said STRAWBERRY in big pink letters. Strawberries beat milk….the vampire shrugged. Too bad it wasn't blood, then he could have just absorbed it. But milk was disgusting animal juice, not compatible with the vampire's stomach.

Luckily there weren't any little girls in the showers so the event passed without any problems. The uniform was ruined and he had to wear the extra set Walter had packed for him. If this one got ruined he would be able to form another using his shadows, but until then his orders were to where the _school's_ uniform. He went back to class at 12:55 pm, and the teacher excused his absence as he explained someone had accidentally spilt milk all over him.

He noted that he was receiving more stares than usual and he frowned at the faces as he passed them on his way to his next class. Mrs. Flore was jubilant to find him in his proper uniform, making him scowl as he sat down. John had noticed during the previous period, but now he went over to the vampire. Halfway, the teacher caught him and made him go back to his seat. The next period passed by in the same way.


	9. Chapter 9

Alucard was staring at the waning moon when John showed up before the dormitory. The superintendent was glaring from behind the glass, but neither of the students took notice.

"Let's go to the football stadium." When Alucard gave him a questioning look, the boy responded that it was quieter and more private. The two left without looking back at the disturbed old woman or the glare coming from one of the windows.

"Alright." John flinched when the vampire sat down next to him, leaning back on the concrete that made up the next level of the stand overlooking the football stadium. It seemed to be sinking into a crater, the way everything was elevated around it, and the lights were on, illuminating the turf. No one could be seen as the vampire's voice carried for a little ways in the thin night air. Clouds were coming from John's face as he breathed, while Alucard's was obstruction free, but the boy didn't notice. There was something else he noted keenly and he leaned forward and sniffed Alucard, making the vampire stare at him.

"You smell good."

Alucard's eyes narrowed at the memory and he smiled darkly, fascinating the boy with how different the response was. Girls would usual blush when he said stuff like that, not look like they had just murdered someone. He started at the familiar word and turned his face to the football field. His eyes opened in surprise when Alucard spoke.

"Strawberry soap the police girl uses. I had no other option."

"What do you usually use?"

Alucard paused, not finding an answer. He chose a less desirable tactic to fix the slip up. "Do you ask all girls that question?"

"It's not that personal…" John sighed as if he was bored instead of hiding a smirk. "But I guess you're just old fashioned."

"Shut up and tell me your story, Suicide-boy." Alucard smiled with satisfaction when the boy cringed and lost his humor.

"So cruel…" he muttered and Alucard chuckled, not noticing when John joined briefly. "Sure you don't want to just talk?"

"No. I'd rather listen."

John sighed with disappointment and he grimaced at the ordeal ahead of him. The boy folded his hands, looking between his legs at the concrete under his feet. "I guess…" he smiled darkly for a moment and then scowled. His face soon melted to dim depression and he closed his eyes with the acceptance of his commitment. "…I'll tell you about Christmas Break." An ironic laugh broke his words, but he continued immediately. "We don't celebrate Christmas, really, not the actual event. We aren't religious, though we have presents."

"That's why you would kill yourself?"

John started when Alucard spoke, but he shrugged. "I guess they say you go to Hell for that, but…" he chuckled. "I killed someone so what do I care? I don't believe in Hell anyway…"John looked up at Alucard with an odd smile. "But you do." Alucard returned the humor more darkly than the boy could have ever imagined on a human face.

"Well…" red eyes widened a little, making the girl's appearance intimidating for a passing moment. "Yeah." John turned away from the chilling smile, but held his own.

"But I don't. I think when you're dead…you're just that. Dead. No Heaven or Hell…it's just like sleep. Like the end. But I suppose it could be both Heaven and Hell depending on the person. I'm young, so dying would be unfortunate, like something was stolen from me. I'd never experienced life… So I wanted to take this future away, like punishing myself. I think it was guilt…but I might have been afraid of myself."

Alucard was quiet, letting the boy's words occupy his mind without his own thoughts.

"I'm evil, universally, in every belief, because I killed someone." The teen stopped and sighed without looking away from the area between his white and black sneakers. They caught some of the light, reflecting it, and he watched for a while. "My father is worn out, or was…I think. Either that or he just wanted me to leave for the break. He's not good with people anymore, he might have been before my mother came into his life…but he's not now. I was supposed to drive up to my grandmother's house, my dad's mom, but she was away. Somehow, it was arranged that I would visit my mother. My car's a piece of shit," John allowed a little humor to flash into and out of his eyes. "…so I was late on the day that they expected me. That's probably what set up the stage for disaster. _She_ got mad at me right off the bat."

"Dan's a good guy, my stepfather. Wealthy and all, but not distant. I think my mom liked that. When I was there and peered around a corner when their family was together, she smiled and she actually looked…pretty. She had always seemed older, tired and aged with drinking and just plain unhappiness. She must have sobered up because the house was neat, and normal. Everything gave off an air of normality. However, when I entered the scene, everything would be ruined. She was so distracted one time that she let go of Jessica, er…Jenifer…her daughter, and the little girl fell from her chair she was being situated into it. The kid started bawling and I just ran to the guestroom. I didn't return for dinner and she yelled at me, bitching about…" The boy's eyes opened with worry and he glanced at Alucard and apologized but the vampire shook his head and ordered him to continue. "…about how she cooked only one dinner, not separate ones for each person. She had a family and they were used to eating together, though…" he smiled cruelly at himself. "…I wasn't used to such a thing…as she said in her own words. She started badmouthing my father, and I almost cried…" the boy laughed again, his face reddening with emotion. "…because I couldn't say anything different. I couldn't correct her or defend him. 'He's a worthless piece of crap! He doesn't have human feelings, that man! Neither do you! That's why I left you both in the first place! You probably aren't even my son! He sent you here to be with some woman,' she laughed the words…. 'I know he is! He cheated on me during our marriage…I know! I would see him at a gym and he would be on a treadmill next to some girl half his age…' she always had stuff to say. Don't know where she got it from. One time she actually keyed his car, I stood watching, not understanding what she was doing. I realized later when my dad drove home and parked the car and it had a long, jagged scar along the doors. The paint peeling and everything…"

"I didn't like it, the memories she was forcing me to see, so I started yelling too. I slammed the door in her face when she began to get really mad. I was scared, scared of my own mother… But she opened the door and started screaming about how I shouldn't slam other people's doors, that this wasn't my house, and I didn't really belong there. I heard Dan's voice in the background but I was busy yelling back at her, I don't really remember much of what I said, but it wasn't that great…and I still feel that it wasn't the extent of what I meant to tell her. To make her understand how much pain she'd put me through…I would have had to tell her everything, but my mind registered that this was impossible, so I ended up saying random things that amounted to nothing. I told her that she was evil and that she was going to go to Hell, even though I didn't believe in Hell…stupid things like that."

"She laughed at me and said it herself…how stupid I was, and she reminded me of all the trouble I had gotten myself into. The drugs and crap I did. I said something about her being the same and that I must have gotten that from her, and she lunged at me. She managed to scratch my arm through my T-shirt before Dan pulled her away and out of the room. He paused long enough to hint that I should lay low for a while, and left. I threw myself on the bed and cried. I was crying because I was crying… because I didn't want to cry. I hated myself more than anyone at that moment, because her calmness and the love in her family was still fresh in my mind…and I knew that it was my fault she was behaving like that."

"But she got even more upset after that and we didn't speak until the Monday of the second week. Dan went to work that morning…and the girl was in her room playing when my mom suddenly took it into her head to come to my room. 'Do you want a ride anywhere? I'm leaving.' I stared at her for a moment, not knowing if she was being nice or just trying to get rid of me. 'No, I'm good.' I remember saying…then she wrinkled her nose at me. She said something about me smelling bad and I told her I had run that morning, I was returning to the basketball season when I got back to school so I needed to be in shape. She started on about the smell and how it was still going to be there when I left and she wouldn't be able to forget about me. I yelled something at her and she yelled back. Finally she slammed the door and I commented about how she'd told me not to slam it before. She walked down the hall and returned with her daughter whining in her grasp. She told me to get in her car because she was taking me back to my father. I argued that I needed my stuff and that I had my own car, but she yelled again and said she didn't need me driving off to some shady place…then something about me not being on the basketball team. I defended this, because I had worked my ass off to get on the team… And the fight got out of hand. She dragged the kid downstairs and got in the car and started blasting her damn horn for all the world to hear."

"I couldn't stand such a scene and the ruckus that was polluting the quiet neighborhood, and I could hear Jessica/Jenifer pleading for her to stop. So I got in the car and let her drive off. She was quiet for a while then she started yelling about how I was ungrateful and she started cussing. The little girl was terrified and she was clamping her ears with her hands and singing some song she couldn't half remember and the whole thing was just agonizing. I tried being calm and asked for her to stop, but she just yelled louder to spite me. Then it got so bad that she was saying nonsense like calling me… 'little shit'…'motherfucker'…" John cringed and shook his head, horrified by the nonsensical words. "I started almost screaming for her to shut up, that her daughter was crying, but she just yelled more profanity. I bet people we drove passed thought that we were possessed, we were yelling so loud, even on the interstate. Other cars probably heard us."

"Then she said she hated me. She said it over and over until my vision was blurred and I couldn't think straight, I was just so angry at her. She was turned around, not looking where she was going as she drove. Without thinking or anything, I dove forward in my chair, limited by the seatbelt, and I just…hit her…with all my strength."

John fell silent and one of his arms slipped from his leg where his elbow had been resting, and he had to right himself. "The girl had her eyes closed…and after…" He swallowed shakily and continued. "The car immediately swerved to the left as she was knocked off balance…we hit another car, the end of the car, and from there… everything is a blur. We spun out of control…the girl was screaming, my mother was screaming, maybe. I also think I was too, but I don't know. Later, I found out that the car had spun across six lanes, being struck by three other cars. Two before we slowed, then another that pushed us into the cement blocks on the side of the highway. The minivan was beat up, but Jessica and I were fine, only a few scratches from the glass…" He fingered his sleeve for a moment. "…but _she_ hadn't been wearing a seatbelt…and when I looked up to find her…she wasn't even in the…" John gasped, tears breaking on the ground, darkening it. "…she wasn't even in the goddamn car." He covered his face, rubbing at it furiously when the tears refused to stop and he ran his sleeve over his running nose. "I just sat there in a stupor with the crying girl screaming for her 'Mommy'. The front of the car, the windshield, was broken. The accident had taken place right before a bridge in the highway…and the place we hit was the beginning of it. She had flown out over the side and…God!" he sobbed harder. "She was in a coma until she died, with tubes in her and he face was messed up…!"

The vampire didn't do anything other than watch as the boy gave in to his misery.

"B..but she deserved it in a way right?"

Alucard couldn't tell if John was talking to him until the boy sat up and grabbed his shoulder. He ignored the filthy state of the boy's hands and let the teen shake him slightly. Then the shaking became more violent as he yelled with tears running down his face.

"SHE WAS A HORRIBLE PERSON! SHE WAS! SHE WAS A TERRIBLE MOTHER!"

"Hey." Alucard lifted a hand to try and make him quiet down, but the boy shook his head and continued, looking down and closing his eyes. He shook Alucard again, once.

"YOU DON'T TEAR UP YOUR CHILD'S MOTHER'S DAY CARDS RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEM! YOU DON'T SEND THEM BACK IN THE MAIL, CHARGING THEM FOR THE FEE OF SENDING THE LETTER BACK! YOU DON'T BLAME YOUR CHILD FOR BEING ALIVE! I NEVER WANTED TO! I NEVER ASKED! I NEVER ASKED! I NEVER ASKED HER TO HAVE ME!"

He panted after the fit of passion and slumped forward suddenly, startling the vampire when John put his face on his shoulder and continued to cry.

"She was horrible."

Time passed after the whisper, and finally the buzzing of the floodlights on the field could be heard with the introduction of crickets in the brushes behind them, separated by a black, chain-link fence.

"I killed her, and no one will ever know because the evidence was erased by the fucking car crash." John muttered, forgetting to apologize for his language.

Alucard sighed, catching his attention. The nosferatu was a little disappointed but he didn't say anything about it and watched the field, pushing the boy away gradually. "You didn't kill her if you didn't mean to."

"But I meant to hurt her!" he protested weakly, self loathing evident in his features.

"Then that's all you're guilty of. Don't kill yourself over it."

John's gaze fell to his shoes again. "But I broke that family. I stole that kid's mother…that guy's wife. They had been happy until I ruined it."

"She ruined it because she couldn't think about the future…stuck in the past. It's not entirely your fault. It's mostly hers."

There was quiet for a long time. John gave an awkward, sad laugh and rubbed his face again. "I can't believe I just did this. I barely know you." He laughed again. His arm went to his side and Alucard noticed the glint of metal and the sheen of plastic as he drew something from his pocket. It was an IPod and a pair of folded up earphones that clicked as the boy set them up for use. He glanced at the watchful red eyes, a little ashamed of himself. "Music helps calm me down…and I don't want to go back looking like this." He turned on the music player and looked at the girl again as she examined it.

"Do you even know what this is called?" John looked at the vampire with mild humor when it sighed again, in annoyance.

"It's a PeaPod, right?"

John stared at Alucard dumbly for several moments. "Even if you're trying to cheer me up, that's gross. And no, it's an IPod." He turned his attention to the stadium lights, looking at the swarm of insects that were lit up like specks of dust, without real interest.

"IPod?" Alucard paused with a growl. "It doesn't matter anyway." He looked at the light with distaste and then glanced at the boy, frowning. "Why is that gross?"

"It was crude humor." John didn't look at him and Alucard paused in thought. His eyes narrowed eyes the revelation.

"No. I was thinking of peapods." John had turned his head by this time and Alucard away as he portrayed the image with his hands. "You know, the little pod full of peas. They're green. The vegetable?"

John tried not to laugh at the visual Alucard was providing and he apologized with a smile before looking at the screen of his IPod to see what time it was. "Past 8'oclock. I'll walk you back." They both stood, John somewhat stiffly. He was significantly more cheery than he had been moments before.

"No. I'm fine." John started to protest but Alucard had already left, so the teen sighed and looked after the girl for a moment before turning around and strolling towards the boy's dorm, watching light reflect off his shoes in thought. "She should have been a lot more uncomfortable with me doing that…" he mused to himself and walked into the shadows where his shoes didn't have any light to reflect.

* * *

When Alucard got by the upset superintendent and made it to his room, Harriet was sitting in front of the door with crossed arms and a sour expression.

"Back so soon?" she sneered as Alucard approached. "There's plenty of the night left."

Alucard stood by her legs as they stretched most of the width of the corridor. "Move, girl." He hadn't been listening to her words.

Harriet laughed and Alucard watched without an expression as she refused to move. "Maybe you're too young for that."

The vampire paused. "What are you talking about?" This set off another bout of laughter and a head appeared out of a door down the hall.

"Shut up, Harriet. There are some people trying to study here." The door closed sharply and the girl grinned as she stood up. She was several inches taller than Alucard and gazed down at him until he moved around her and knocked on the door for the police girl to open it.

"What were you doing with John?" the door had yet to open and Alucard glared at the locked handle.

"Talking."

"Yeah right. For two and a half hours? Where did you guys go?"

Alucard huffed in annoyance. "The stadium if you must know, girl. If you are bothered by it, just tell the boy that. Leave me out of this stupidity."

"I know John." Her eyes were narrowed. "You two did it, didn't you?"

The emphasis on it made the vampire's eyes widen and Seras started and almost closed the door when she saw his furious, disgusted expression. "I'm not you." He spat and heard a gasp as he shut the door in Harriet's face.

"What do you mean by that, bitch?" she exclaimed indignantly at the door, smacking it with her hand. Several voices told her to shut up when doors clicked open and she left, fuming, down the hall.

Seras looked on in quiet as her Master threw the pillow from his bed, across the room, and went to his luggage to get ready for his night excursion.

"What were you doing with Harriet?"

"Nothing." He unzipped the suitcase and drew out the small briefcase that held his pistols. The luggage was inconspicuously lined with a foil like covering on the inside and, when opened, it let out a drifting cloud at the sublimation of ice into vapor. Blood packets filled the rest of the makeshift icebox. "She just accused me of something obscene, that's all. I was with the boy again."

"Why?" Seras' eyes were wide and she bit her lip nervously. "And what did Harriet say?"

"The boy said he killed someone and he tried to kill himself, so I was interested. I made him tell his story and he finished it just now." Alucard turned off the safety on his gun. "The girl claimed that we did something inappropriate together."

The vampire melted into the wall, leaving the police girl rigid with confusion and disbelief.

* * *

Alucard peered over his arm when John sat beside him in their Art History class. He had set his IPod by the vampire's face and red eyes looked it over without interest. "What are you doing?"

John revealed a notebook and a binder containing the assignment that was due. "Nothing."

"Why are you sitting back here?"

The boy didn't look away from his binder as he opened it. "It's not like you own the back of the room… Do you?" The sarcasm and the smirk were noted and Alucard sat up.

"What happened to your own seat?"

"Don't like it anymore. I'd rather sit with you."

The black haired girl scowled and eyed the teacher who hadn't noticed them. "Do I get a say in the matter?"

John was smiling when he turned to Alucard's frown. "Nope."

"You little…" Both of them looked up when the bell rang and Mrs. Flore tapped at the whiteboard with her marker before she took up her assignment book and started through the semicircle-rows of tables. "Your teacher's going to notice."

"She's your teacher too."

The vampire decided to resort to ignoring the youth and he put his head on his arms. Mrs. Flore looked at them when she went to John's spot and found it empty. She dithered for a moment, but overlooked the unannounced change. Later she questioned them once she had finished checking John's homework as being on time and complete.

"Are you switching seats, Mr. Blake?" the teacher looked at the boy for an answer, but Alucard spoke up first.

"No."

John smiled politely. "Yes."

"No he's not."

"Yes, I am."

The teacher was slightly amused by the students until Alucard let out a cat-like hiss. Maybe she needs to learn more social skills… The woman turned around and abandoned her students.

"That was a weird sound." John was staring at Alucard.

"That's because I'm weird. Shoo. Scat. Make yourself scarce."

The vampire was ignored and the period passed slowly.

"Want to listen to music?" John offered a head phone, turning the ear piece out.

"No." Came a grumbled voice that turned into a growl when the boy forced the earphones onto the girl's head. Alucard opened his eyes to tear them away, but he hesitated at the piano that was playing. Moments passed and Alucard closed his eyes again settled to fall asleep. "I didn't think kids your age listened to music like this."

"I told you, music calms me down. You like it?" Alucard couldn't see John's smile and he didn't answer.

Seras turned around when she realized Harriet wasn't even trying to hide her interest in what was going on in the back of the room. The vampire had to blink several times to make sure that her Master was, indeed, sleeping while listening to an IPod, red headphones apparent in the ebony hair that covered his face. "This is weird." Seras looked at her notes when Harriet heard her and turned around in her seat.

"What did you say?"

"H…she doesn't usually do stuff like this." The police girl flinched when the other girl's eyes burned and Harriet glowered at her lap.

The teen spoke through her teeth. "You don't say?"


	10. Chapter 10

John looked down at what the cafeteria lady had dished onto his tray and a smirk came to his expression, surprising the woman, but he moved down the line too quickly for her to find out to what his source of humor had been. Alucard was sitting at the lunch table where his fledgling and Harriet sat across from him, eating their food. The vampire stared at Seras doubtfully, remembering how she had pleaded for him to make up with her friend as the girl's horrid mood had persisted through the morning. Alucard opened his mouth to speak, but a body sat next to him, upsetting the two girls.

"Look, peapods." John showed Alucard the green vegetable, putting Harriet on hiatus. He picked one up and stuck it in the pale face with a smile. "See? I know what they are."

"Congratulations." Alucard moved the hand that held the pod out of his face when he saw Harriet's temper flare.

"Do you want some?" John didn't get the message and he pushed the tray between them, putting the vegetables closer to Alucard.

"No." Red eyes assessed the situation with a growl and he glared at the teenagers that sat at the table around him. Alucard forced the creeping scowl from his face and grit his teeth. "Assure the girl that nothing went on between us, the other night, and that no current relationship exists."

John froze and stared at Alucard with an empty expression. His eyes flicked to Harriet and Seras, deciding to focus on the brunette. "Alucard's right, nothing happened."

"You…!" Harriet whispered fiercely, glaring at Alucard as she stood. "…are doing this one purpose!" She ran off and Seras stood to chase her, then decided against it and sat back down to observe the two. She looked at her Master and he watched her unhappy expression without care.

"Not my fault, Police Girl."

"Then what is your relationship?" Seras was frowning and she put her hands on the table, trying to look confident. Alucard was put off by her words so John answered before him.

"Friends. We're friends." John felt Alucard watching him and he stuffed a spork full of food into his mouth, leaving the peapods.

"Since when?"

John suddenly looked at the lower face and glowered at Alucard. "Really? Are you honestly saying we can't be, even though I told you all that stuff?"

The vampire watched the anger for a moment as it grew with his quiet. "I thought you agreed to tell me because I saved your life."

"All you cared about was hearing about some wacko killing someone, didn't you?" Seras quickly got out of her seat and she went after Harriet after changing her mind again.

"I was interested." Alucard looked up at the boy calmly and tapped his fingers on the table. "Don't raise your voice."

John bit the side of his mouth and crushed his shoes into the floor in an attempt to cool his displeasure at Alucard's callousness. He remembered his food.

"Eat a peapod and I won't bother you until History."

The vampire blinked. "What?" John made himself clear by sticking a pod in Alucard's face again.

"Eat it."

"No." Alucard pushed the green object away, but John forced it into his face.

"Yes."

"I said no."

"It's good. I'll put it in your mouth for you. Say ahhh….."

"Go to Hell."

John was satisfied by this and laughed at Alucard's irritated state while he ate the vegetable after a pause. He chewed and his eyes scanned over the uniform Alucard was wearing. "Where're the pants and the blue jacket you always wear?"

"Haven't gotten them cleaned yet."

John took a bite of food, in thought. He swallowed prematurely as he remembered the reason. "The milk?"

Alucard nodded and, not seeing a reason for him to stay there, began to get up. A hand pulled at his sweater, and the vampire glanced at the boy. "I wanted to know why you don't like the normal uniform. It's not like you look bad in it."

"You try wearing a skirt sometime, see how you like it." Tugging at the grasp John had on his blue sweater, Alucard took the satchel he had set next to himself a few minutes ago. "Let…"

"Why do you wander around at night?"

"That's my business, now let go." Alucard yanked the blue cloth free and turned abruptly to the exit, tired and annoyed. Unfortunately the skirt filled with air as he spun too sharply and it flew up slightly. Quickly holding it down again, Alucard hissed and tore at his hair in frustration. "That is exactly why I hate these things!" He looked back at John's humor and perverted smirk. The vampire turned around more slowly and crossed his arms, still holding on to the satchel. "What's so funny, brat?"

"Not only am I older and way taller than you…" John laughed a little, continuing when Alucard frowned with disapproval. "…that aside. It was funny…and now I understand your point. You don't want people to see the plain type of underwear you…."

Alucard hit the boy with the bag and left the cafeteria as John began to laugh at him again.

* * *

Seras leaned over the table and put a black rectangular object by her Master's face. He opened his eyes and stared at the cell phone. "Where did you get this?" His hand lazily closed around the object before dragging it to the edge of the table to let it fall in his lap.

"Walter sent them to us." Pink flashed in the corner of Alucard's eye. "I have one too."

"Why?"

Seras shrugged, but was unsure if her Master could see her response so she voiced it. "I don't know. Didn't ask…." She stopped when John passed her and pulled out the chair next to Alucard. She didn't say anything for a moment. "Weren't you two fighting?"

"Not really." Alucard mumbled and rotated his face towards the boy. "Shoo, vermin."

"Have you conquered the misbehaving skirt yet?" Alucard growled when John chuckled, setting his binder down.

"Shut up."

Seras gave a bright hopeful smile. "So you're friends now?"

"No."

Seras looked at John with pity, but it was unnecessary as he smiled mischievously up at her. "She's just peeved because I saw her underwear…" Alucard kicked the chair from under the boy so he cried out and fell on the ground. Seras' eyes were wide and she gaped at the ancient vampire until he surfaced from his arm.

"The skirt flew up again."

"That hurt." John was holding on the table, lifting himself up, but Alucard detached his hand and John fell down again.

The boy glared at the vampire. Then he noticed the cell phone and grabbed it, making Alucard jolt and leave his arm completely, alarming Seras who took a step back. Wide red eyes burned down at the boy as he flipped the phone open, oblivious. "Watch where you put your hands."

"I didn't think you had a cell phone." He was typing something into it. John finished and handed it back to Alucard. Curiously, the vampire opened the phone and looked at the screen.

"What did you do?"

John got up and leaned over Alucard's shoulder and pushed the button that would open up the contacts option. His name popped up under Seras' and Walter's. He smiled at the confused expression that came into the vampire's face. "Now you have someone to call." Then he paused and looked at the names again. "Who's Walter?"

"He's a butler and a friend." Seras offered, also looking at the cell phone.

"Oh." Seras slowly smiled at John's relief and she looked at her Master as he clicked on the buttons and looked through the options on the phone. There was a sudden beeping sound and she blinked when he turned the screen to her to reveal her face.

"Now I can take all _sorts_ of pictures." He chuckled darkly. Seras paused, then colored with realization and she tried to reclaim the phone, but Alucard kept it from her reach and the bell rang. "Go to your seat, Police Girl. I'm not going to take any weird pictures of you…probably."

She whined for the phone until the teacher ordered her to her seat. Alucard chuckled again at the receding figure.

"Are you really going to take pictures of her?"

Alucard looked at John and his eyes narrowed again. "I'm not going to send them to you if I do, so get rid of that creepy smile."

John sighed with false disappointment and lowered his head to his arms while Alucard continued to explore the phone. He gave a familiar dark chuckle. "How 'bout pictures of you?" He gave the same grin to Alucard but started when he realized the phone was taking his picture. Alucard smugly showed him the perverted smile on the screen.

"Dream on, little boy." He started typing something on the pad of the cell. A shadow crossed over the table and John nearly jumped out of his chair as Mrs. Flore tried to take the phone out of Alucard's hands. She wrenched the phone away, but Alucard grabbed it back, amazing the students who had witnessed the act. "That's mine."

"No cell phone use during class, Ms. Hellsing." She held out her hand, overlooking what had just happened. Alucard looked at her for a moment and then smiled, making her hand flinch before him.

"I didn't know that rule. I'll put it away." The phone disappeared into the bag on the table and Alucard put it in his lap and smiled at the teacher. She stammered, then remembered who the girl was, and she sighed.

"Fine, Ms. Hellsing. But if I see it out again, I'm keeping it." She turned and left while a few envious faces glared at Alucard.

"People are going to hate you, you know?" Alucard ignored John and resumed his sleeping stance, hiding his head in the crook of his arm. John saw his opportunity and took out his IPod slowly and slipped the earphones onto the bent head. Alucard didn't take them off as time went on, eventually falling asleep.

Another pencil was murdered by Harriet in the middle of class and several whispers contained the vampire's name.

* * *

Walter started when the Funeral March tune beeped on his phone, signaling that Alucard had contacted him. He cautiously opened the cell phone to see he had two text messages. He sighed with relief when he found the first one was a picture of Seras smiling. The caption stated her name, 'Police Girl'. Walter saved the picture and opened the next. Several moments passed and he continued to stare at the teenage boy and the letters that titled him as 'a pervert'.

He snapped the phone close and put it in his vest before inquiring to Integra the reason why they had decided to give Alucard a cell phone.

* * *

Alucard laughed, disturbing the girls in the dorm room as he read Walter's response. 'We don't need any more perverts – Your Master and Walter'.

"Since when have I been considered a pervert?"

Seras sat on the bed and she looked at the text. "What'd you do now?"

"Boredom is driving me to distraction." He gave her the cell and she looked at the texts he had sent. She blushed at the picture of herself and then spluttered at the one of John.

"That's really…!" she got up and Alucard took the phone back.

"See? Police Girl? Stay away from boys, they're scary." He deleted the picture as Harriet became suspicious and then the vampire threw the phone into the satchel on the end of the bed with his eyes closed. Seras sat with the other girls doing her homework for a while. Minutes ticked by and Seras got up and went to her own backpack to take out her cell phone. The fledgling pointed it at her Master's sleeping face and smiled.

"Gotcha."

* * *

Walter stepped up to Integra's desk with an ashy pallor that made her heart skip a beat. He didn't say anything and showed her the phone. The picture showed a pretty girl with a soft, gentle face sleeping and her pinkish lips were parted slightly. Integra's eyes were wide by this point, but she flinched when the image moved, rolling over, revealing that it was a movie instead of a picture. Large red eyes fluttered open and looked sleepily out of the screen.

"Police Girl. I won't take pictures of you if you don't take them of me."

"Sorry." Came a familiar voice and the scene became a blur and morphed to form a grey carpet. The clip ended.

Integra's hand went under the phone and claimed a cigar that she put into her mouth. "Do you think we can blackmail Alucard?"

Walter smiled grimly and shook his head as he put his cell phone on the desk and reached into his pocket. "I don't think he would care."

"Hm." Hellsing breathed in when the butler lit her cigar.

* * *

John had been staring at the blue satchel for twenty straight minutes before he was sure the girl had fallen asleep. He reached in and then brought his hand to his lap, glancing at Alucard as he looked up the number of the cell phone. He glanced at the name 'Walter' after he had finished and typed in the additional numerals into his own phone.

* * *

Integra gasped at the haunting music that came from the forgotten cell phone on her desk. Her hand twitched as she debated whether or not she should answer as the song ran through a second time. She opened it and brought it to her ear and waited for her servant to speak.

"Uh…" came an unsure voice and Integra blinked at the unfamiliarity and obvious gender. "Is this Walter?"

"This is his phone." She waited for the boy to speak again. "May I ask who is calling?"

There was another pause and then a low chuckle and the voice spoke to himself. "Awesome. Rich people have message machines like these? That's so cool. It's like I'm talking to a hot girl."

Integra almost dropped the phone and she tried to level her voice when she answered. "I am a person. I'm Integra Hellsing."

There was a gasp and a nervous apology. Hellsing sighed and told the boy not to worry. "Why do you have Alucard's phone? And who are you?"

"I accidentally mixed our phones up when…I…yeah…" there was quiet.

"Who is this?" Integra demanded, her eyes growing colder. "Answer."

"You're a scary woman aren't you?" the mutter made her growl.

"Who is this?"

"John."

There was a pause on both sides of the line at the simple statement. "Alright, John. Why do you have Alucard's phone?"

"I wanted her number."

Silence.

"Why?"

"Because…so I can call her?"

Silence.

"Why would anyone want to call that creature?" she shuddered, forgetting that she had the phone next to her face.

"That's not really nice, lady." The voice sounded a little sharper. "You said you're name's Integra Hellsing? Are you Alucard's adoptive mother? You don't sound very old. Why do you want a kid who's almost…."

"I'm not his mother!"

There was a startled gasp at the strong response. "Okay… Do you not like Alucard?"

Integra softened and she bit her lip. "No, it's not that…."

"You called her a… well… 'his'."

Integra didn't respond. "How do you know Alucard?" She tried to change the subject.

"Friend, but she insists that we aren't. Is she usually antisocial?"

Integra furrowed her brow and then relaxed with a smile. "A bit." Unless you're an insane paladin. She chuckled.

"So she probably doesn't have a boyfriend, right?"

"No…Wait! What?" Hellsing grabbed at the phone when she lost her grip. "Boyfriend? So you?"

"Do you mind if I ask her out?"

Integra paled. "Please don't. For your own sake."

"Someone already asked to marry her, but she punched him in the face and sent the guy to the hospital. Do you think she would react the same way to me?"

"Okay…. Boy? John, you said? I'm telling you this as plainly as possible. Alucard doesn't like boys, for one and…"

"REALLY?"

Integra paused at the enthusiastic response and her mind somehow brought up the picture that had been texted to Walter. "No, I meant…." She sighed, too tired, mentally, to continue. "Let your teenage mind wander for all I care. I'm done." She hung up the phone and returned it to where she had taken it from.

* * *

"So you like girls?" Alucard looked up when John leaned to his ear. He pushed the face away with a growl. It was the last period of the day, John having called 'Walter' between classes.

"What?"

"You're a lesbian." There was a pause.

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE THESE DAYS?"

The vampire stalked out of the room before the period began without explaining his outburst to the upset teacher.

The Calculus teacher glared at John as he chuckled to himself, a little relieved and a lot disappointed. "Mr. Blake." She pointed at his seat. "Sit."

John moved to the indicated seat, thinking about the cell phone he still had in his possession.

* * *

Alucard stared down at his hand when John handed him the cell phone. The sun had already set, John having waited until after basketball practice to go to the girls' dorm. "Why do you have this?"

"I accidentally mixed our phones up… you currently have mine."

"How, though?"

John looked at his shoes for a moment. "Just wanted to look at your phone."

The vampire saw the lie but ignored it and began to turn around.

"I talked to Integra."

Alucard froze so violently that John started and had some instinctive feeling that he should run away, but Alucard's expression held a smile when he turned around. "Come again?"

"Integra…Hellsing?"

There was a sudden cackle that made a few faces appear in the windows of the building.

"From her voice, she seems like she's barely older than I am, though she kinda sounds like a robot… she has a pretty hot voice too."Alucard swallowed his humor and looked John over.

"I didn't know she had a cell phone."

John's eyes went to his shoes again before he stretched his arms over his head and looked at the sky. "I called Walter. I wanted to know how he got to be your friend."

"That's a mystery that most will never be able to figure out." The vampire chuckled, looking at the cell phone thoughtfully.

"So he really is your friend?"

"As close to one as is possible."

John put his arms down. "Integra is the one who said you were a lesbian."

Red eyes, glowing in the dark, blinked several times and a devilish smile flashed. "Oh, really? That's interesting…"

"She also told me not to do something…in particular."

Alucard smirked and crossed his arms, his humor making him in a good mood. "What's that?"

"This." John stepped forward suddenly and kissed the unsuspecting nosferatu on the lips. The boy pulled away and he smiled at the cute blank expression on the girl's face. "Will you go out with me?" When Alucard didn't answer he took the quiet as shyness and chuckled nervously. "I'll wait for your answer, tomorrow… think it over."

* * *

Seras jumped out of her chair when she heard the shrill screams and squeals erupt throughout the dorm.

"HE JUST ASKED HER OUT!" "JOHN BLAKE? NO WAY!" "A SENIOR AND A WOULD BE FRESHMAN?" "HE KISSED HER!" "KYAA! SO CUTE!" "WHAT'S SHE DOING?" "SHE'S JUST STANDING THERE…OH! SHE'S COMING BACK!"

Seras was sitting on the floor thoroughly confused as she heard rampaging feet fill the hallway. The vampire crawled to the window and pulled herself up but there was nothing outside. She slowly went to the door and followed the trailing girls.

"What's going on?"

A few girls looked back at her but only one answered. "Don't know. I just heard the screaming."

The girls crowded at the end of the hall, waiting for the elevator doors to open. Seras waited with growing excitement but her face fell when it was only Alucard who appeared. He stared at all of the girls and tried to push a button to close the elevator again, but a hand stopped the doors.

Now I know what that SWAT team felt …. He thought and stared at the excited, curious, or deadly eyes, trapped in the elevator. "Do people usually spy on others?"

"WHAT'D YOU SAY?" "YES?" "NO! SAY YOU DIDN'T!" Alucard glared at the voices and began to push his way through the crowd. He bumped into Seras who looked at him quizzically.

"It was you? You and John…?"

"Police Girl… stop smiling." He brushed passed her. Seras ran after him with a smile that resembled John's.

Voices called after them and most of the girls followed until Alucard slammed the door in their faces with a snarl.

Meanwhile, Harriet and a group of girls whispered in her darkened room. They were all smiling.

* * *

Alucard wasn't in class the next day, seriously alarming John and Seras who stared at the empty seat with apprehension. John was relieved, though, when he went into the gym, the first of his teammates as he usually warmed up before the actual practice, and he found the girl standing on the silver and blue stands. He smiled and stuck the basketball under his arm and approached Alucard, his sneakers resounding on the court. The expansive walls made the sound echo when he stopped under the bleachers. Alucard walked down them after watching the boy for a moment, and he went to John.

"Boy…" he growled slightly and bit his lip to control himself. "There is no way I can…" he hesitated again when John's face began to fall. "My answer is no way in Hell."

"Why? Why not?" he stepped forward and reached out to Alucard. Suddenly a glint and a familiar aura caught Alucard's attention and his eyes narrowed when he dove forward and knocked John to the ground as several bayonets clanged into the stands behind them. Alucard sneered at the shape that dashed across the court towards them. John got up, not knowing what to do as he saw the crazed priest, and he backed away and then saw Alucard move forward towards the man. "No! Alucard!"

Alucard's hair was waving slowly as he prepared to face the paladin and the silver glinted before him. His eyes widened in shock when John appeared between them and the bayonet continued towards their direction. "Move!" He tore John out of the way. The boy looked back as he fell and his eyes grew with horror when the girl was stuck through the heart while another blade went into her throat.

He landed on the ground seconds before Alucard's body did. Anderson readied for another attack with a twisted grin when he froze at the high scream that came from the boy. John's face was deathly white. "ALUCARD!" He looked at the priest and didn't notice when the girl's arm twitched. "YOU KILLED HER!" He jumped to his feet and chucked the basketball at the stunned priest's face, and Anderson looked on dumbly as his glasses broke and shattered on the wood flooring. "YOU KILLED HER! YOU'RE A PRIEST! PRIESTS DON'T FUCKIN' KILL GIRLS!" The boy was sobbing as he yelled, but he choked when a small hand grabbed his shoulder.

"You aren't too bright, kid." He gawked at Alucard, frozen with disbelief as red was still snaking back into his body. The bayonets were on the ground, free of blood. "When you see a lumbering crazy Iscariot, you don't chuck your only weapon at it."

"ALUCARD?"

The vampire winced when the boy yelled again and began to withdraw its hand. "Shut u…" Alucard jolted when John hugged him, making Anderson drop a bayonet.

"I don't know what's going on….how the hell you're alive…I'm just happy…"

Alucard looked over the boy's shoulder as he continued to mutter. Anderson moved forward, and the red eyes turned into a glare. "You almost killed the boy, Judas Priest. We can't fight in a school…that's obvious." He detached the arms around him and turned his glare to John. "And I told you to shut up." John began to speak but Anderson's loud voice cut him off.

"What are you doing with the heathen boy, demon spawn? And why are you in such a disgusting form?" John's eyes blazed and he turned around and glowered at the paladin, surprising Anderson again, though the man only glared back.

"Don't touch her you bast…!" He was pushed out of the way, again, by Alucard.

"Shut up. Now…" Alucard took John's spot before the priest. "…why are you here, Anderson?"

"You've been unable to find the vampire…" he grinned when the scarlet eyes flashed. "…so I've come to do the job. There are a few children I know who came here for schooling not too long ago."

"You know him?"

Green and red eyes went to John who was shivering from all the excitement and stress of what had just happened.

"Why is he trying to kill you? I thought you believed in God."

Alucard glanced at Anderson when he took on a warped smile. "Of course the demon does. I bet he can already feel the flames of Hell at his throat…"

"I'm a monster." Both of the figures paused and looked at Alucard.

"No…you saved my life. You didn't let me kill myself…you didn't want me to go to Hell…you let me cry on your shoulder…" John was trembling more violently and he began to sway. Alucard scowled and went forward to catch him when he fainted.

"What is this, vampire?"

Alucard changed his shape and was holding John's arm over his shoulder as the boy was about his own height. Alucard gave a jagged smile and voices began in the distance as the basketball team arrived. "I believe this is called a teenager, Priest." Anderson left as the voices grew louder and Alucard situated the boy on the bleachers and disappeared as a flitting shadow, first gathering the priest's forgotten bayonets, though they burned his hands.

* * *

Alucard went back to the dorm room in this form and he fazed through the window. He stared at the girls that were sticking spiders in his bed asthey noticed him come through the glass. There was quiet and Alucard decided to put the stinging bayonets on Seras' nightstand. His eyes flicked to the girls and he smiled without showing his teeth. "Hello…Harriet…other girls. What pray tell are you doing?"

The girls screamed bloody murder and dashed out of the room, leaving behind Harriet who was too scared to scream, let alone move. "Ho…How d..di…d..y…?"

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING YOU RETARD?" Harriet flinched at Seras who stood gaping with fury at her Master in the doorway.

"Did you just say what I think you said, Police Girl?" Alucard's chuckles were wiped out by Harriet's panicked yelp as she ran out of the room, finding her strength again.

"I'm telling Sir Integra." Seras closed the door quickly and opened her phone as Alucard changed back into his form with his torn uniform. She paused and stared at the damage. "What happened?"

Alucard picked up a bayonet and held it before himself, running his hand over the blade with a smile as it reflected his face. "Anderson is here." Seras gasped and clicked hurriedly on the phone. "And he met John."

Walter's voice came from the floor. Seras had dropped the phone with horror. Alucard, meanwhile went to his luggage and opened it. He froze when a multitude of spiders came pouring out. Both he and Seras watched in silence and Walter's voice continued on the floor.

The old man jolted when he heard a familiar voice shriek in rage. "THEY PUT SPIDERS IN MY BLOOD! DAMN LITTLE GIRLS! I'LL KILL THEM ALL!"

"Master! No! What about John and Anderson? What happened?"

"After I kill Harriet and those other girls, Police Girl. I'm sure it's okay, they saw my real shape anyway. I can kill them. There are plenty of flag poles…"

The phone caught their attention and the vampire gazed down at the cell as it squeaked furiously with Walter's voice. Alucard sighed sadly as Seras picked up the phone and began to explain the situation.

"Darn it."


	11. Chapter 11

Seras watched as her Master walked into their room and she waited for him to look at her. "Did you get them all?"

"Yeah." The vampire went over to his luggage. "But we should have mounted them on flagpoles, instead of erasing their memories…." His voice trailed off as he smiled at the spider-free blood packets.

"Sir Integra demanded it. Even for John…" She paused, also looking at the packets. "Where did you put all of the spiders…?"

Screams filled the level as girls ran from their rooms in terror. Alucard's giggles/cackles accompanied the sound, making Seras glare at him. "Ever heard of the Golden Rule?" She frowned when she was ignored and Alucard continued to laugh.

"No. I put the spiders outside." He grinned to himself and bent down.

The Police girl's eyes widened in confusion and she looked to the door where the voices were coming from and then at her Master.

"I almost sacrificed a blood packet or two, but found that those brats weren't worth it." He gave a sinister laugh and his eyes gleamed while he pulled out the case containing his pistols. "Rats are much messier."

"Ewwwww!" Seras hid her face in her hands and shuddered as her Master fazed through the window.

(Unfortunately the teens who had witnessed Alucard's supernatural qualitative were demanded to have their memories erased. Integra allowed no exceptions, so John too fell under this category. Alucard fulfilled his duty that night and was ordered to avoid contact with Anderson while he searched for the vampire, and there was to be no fighting by any means. And so, the next day of school began, a Friday, and Alucard sat down at his place in Art History.)

"So?"

Alucard looked over his sleeve at the boy who was sitting next to him wearing a beaming smile. "So what?"

"Yes or no?"

The vampire blinked and then frowned. "Yes or no what?"

John paused and seemed somewhat hurt. "Will you go out with me? You made a big deal about avoiding me yesterday."

Alucard ducked his head into his arm and cursed for a minute before he resurfaced. "No."

"Why not?" John stood up, forgetting that they were still in class. "Why not?" he said louder. Voices erupted throughout the room as most of the students had been anticipating the answer to the confession.

"She turned him down?" "Who does she think she is?" "Poor guy. It's probably better for him." "Girl's strange." "Is she gay?" "Shit, does she think she's better than everyone else?" "Yay! Go John!"

The whispers and exclaims caught the boy's attention and he started at the of the faces that were looking in their direction. "How do they know?" He stared at Alucard in disbelief. "Did you tell them?"

There was a vicious hiss and several of the voices quieted or rose in surprise. "No. People spied from their windows at the dorm…" Alucard fell to muttering and he snarled as he stood to leave. He passed the teacher on the way out, leaving Mrs. Flore beside herself. The teacher was about to yell at John when she heard the whispers as well.

"Poor girl." She sighed before snapping at the class to be quiet. "But she can't run from her problems. I'll have to tell her counselor and her parents…"

Alucard slept in the library and got up when the bell for the last class rang and students filed out of their classrooms. He went into his Calculus class, arriving a little early as the library was right next to the room. He situated himself at the back table.

Students came in and ignored the black haired girl. Then whispers arose, but they were soft and the vampire overlooked them to focus on sleeping. Seras followed Harriet to the room, staring at her shoes with apprehension about the chaos that was beginning to unfold. She bumped into her friend when the girl stopped.

"Father?"

Seras blinked and looked around Harriet's shoulder. "Your dad's h…" Her eyes deadened at the man who stood in front of the whiteboard. He stared back at her with the same amount of disbelief and then gave a chilling smile.

Seras ran out of the room with a scream of panic, ripping Alucard from his arm to stare at the priest. He stood from his chair and slowly moved past the multitude of confused and rambling students, walking up behind the distracted priest who was greeting Harriet warmly. The vampire stared at the back of his head until the man shivered and turned around.

"This is an interesting development, Father Anderson."

"YOU TOO?"

The class calmed eventually and Anderson was introduced as the new Calculus teacher that would act as a substitute while their other teacher was on maternity leave. Seras wandered back to class eventually, and was written down as being tardy and given Saturday School by the merciless teacher. She sat, shivering in her seat until someone suggested that she go to the nurse's office. She considered it, but disagreed with the complications and decided to stay, though she got up and sat next to Alucard, much to the class's surprise. Word spread that the two were adopted siblings. It still did not explain the strange fear the girl had for the teacher, so more rumors spread, circulating around. John was upset by the strange smile Alucard was giving the teacher and how the two smirked at one another often. The girl had laughed openly at the teacher at the beginning of class as well. He gritted his teeth and tore out a chunk of his notebook paper to scribble something on it before tossing it to the back of the room.

Alucard watched as the little ball of lined paper bounced on the table. Boy's a good shot…. He mused as he unraveled it.

_Do you two know that teacher? What about my answer as well? Are you going to go out with me? No is not enough, give me one reason and I'll leave it be. You also have my cell still._

Seras read the note and colored. "You said no?"

"Of course." Alucard hissed between his teeth, writing his reply.

_I'll give you the cell phone after class. We know the man, he's an acquaintance of mine. And the answer is still __**no way in hell little boy.**__ No, no, and no, because I say so. I refuse. Period. Don't reply to this note._

John read Alucard's message and replied anyway.

_You still write like a princess, and you can't knock out my teeth because I didn't say it aloud. You mean the teacher's your friend? And no is not an adequate answer. Why am I not good enough?_

_Because you're a little brat and I have no interest in you. Leave me be. Sure, we'll say Anderson is a friend. __Don't reply._

_Why can't I be your friend? Am I just not your type? Is Mr. Anderson your type? You like older guys? I can tell by the way you look at him that you're interested._

Alucard face planted into the desk, making Seras yelp. Father Anderson stopped what he was doing to turn around and see the piece of paper rocket into the boy's face. He growled in annoyance, not having seen where it had come from exactly, and marched up the teen. John started when the note was snatched away before he could open it. The paladin read through the conversation and then flinched when he was mentioned in a personal topic. Anderson frowned at the response.

_**STUPID BOY! YOU AND YOUR PERVERTED MIND SHOULD LEAVE ME ALONE!**_

A glare went to the boy. "What's your name?"

"John." The boy muttered and looked at his desk.

"See me after class."

The classroom was deathly silent after that. People were unsure if they would survive if they tattled on Alucard.

"Alright, John." The boy was grumbling to himself as he stood in front of Anderson's desk. "Why did you think you could get away with harassing a girl in my class? Is it because I'm new?"

"No. I wasn't harassing anyone. I know the girl." John looked at the door where he knew Alucard was waiting to return his phone.

Anderson gave an unobvious smirk. "I think I know who the girl is from what was written." John recoiled and stared at his shoes. "Harriet Jones used to be an orphan under my care…"

Disliking the misconception and believing in Alucard's immunity within the school, John cut Anderson off. "That's not the girl."

The priest blinked and then scowled at the only remaining possibility. There were two rather large reasons why the busty Hellsing vampire would catch teenage attention. "I'll give you some advice. Stay away from Seras. She's no good for…"

"Alucard. I like Alucard, okay Mr. Anderson? Unfortunately she doesn't like me back but you're doing wonders for my self-esteem." John was growling the words and he glared at Anderson. The priest was struck dumb for several moments, leading John's glare to lessen and pass away. "Teacher? I mean, Mr. Anderson?"

"Is this a joke?"

Intimidated, the boy stammered and said it wasn't. Anderson suddenly recognized the boy and he stood up with contorted features. Don't tell me the monster's… he swallowed unsteadily, remembering the topics and his mention on the paper.

"What connection do you have with Alucard and Hellsing?"

John frowned and took another step towards the door before he could stop himself. "What do you mean? The hot, scary, robot lady? Seras? Or the Walter butler dude? Alucard's a girl I like. Teacher's aren't supposed to be involved in this sort of personal stuff…"

"So you've met Integra Hellsing?"

The door swung open with a crack as it broke the hinges and then fell to the floor. Alucard was glowering at Anderson with a hint of shock in his features. "Did you just call Integra what I think you did, Judas Priest?"

Anderson froze at the accusation and his own blunder. He blanched and stared at the vampire before snarling. "No, demon. I…" Alucard ignored him and grabbed John, whisking him out of the room. Anderson watched the door mutely.

"No…I didn't just call Integra Hellsing hot, stupid monster…." He muttered hoarsely, shaken by what had just happened. Alucard's gay? He shook his head until he was dizzy to get the thought out of his mind and the inclusion of himself in the topic that had been suggested and not directly refused.

The vampire erased the boy's memory of his breaking down the metal classroom door when John refused to overlook the amazing feat. The recent removal of memories combined with the additional session led to John forgetting other memories…revealing them to be Alucard's response when he mumbled 'so…what's…your answer?' with dazed eyes before he fell unconscious.

Alucard walked along the concrete laid path, passing the football field which was still lit up, and headed towards the boy's dormitory. Because it was Friday, the vampire didn't want the precious additional sleep he managed to get on the weekends to be wasted. He would have to confront the boy now, the time when the teen's basketball practice would be finished, though the thought made him grimace. Letting Anderson decapitate him sounded so good at the moment…

He walked through the doors, oblivious to the dead silence that came with his appearance, and stalked up to the desk where the supervisor was reading a magazine with his grimy shoes shedding flakes of mud on the documents laid out on the wooden surface.

"Excuse me."

The man started and fell out of his chair at the female voice. He hastily slapped his hand on the seat to push himself up, forgetting that the chair had wheels, and the unshaven man ended up plummeting to the floor once more. He rose over the edge of the desk slowly, grumbling curses under his breath. "What do you think you're doing in here? Get out, little girl!"

"Tell John Blake to meet be out front."

Beady black eyes that reminded the vampire of one of the rats he had recently put into Harriet's bed, squinted at him. The eyes looked him over and then the man smirked. "Oh. Blake? Don't you have his number?"

"I have to return his cell phone." Alucard took the phone out of the pocket of his skirt and waved it before the smirk with a growing glare. "He put it in my bag during class by accident, so get rid of those inappropriate thoughts, old man."

The supervisor started and muttered something intelligible as his face became red with fury. "How dare you? I should inform your parents about this kind of disrespect towards adults."

"And I'll file for sexual harassment and you can see how easy it is for you to deny that claim in court." A white smile appeared on the girl's face.

Pale and shaky with unreleased rage, the man stood and left to go to the elevator to fetch the boy himself.

"Whoa! So, what do we have here?" Someone attempted to drape an arm around the vampire's neck, but Alucard moved out of the way. He saw a few boys that had become curious, walking over to investigate why the black haired girl was there. The guilty boy put up his hands and whistled with a reassuring smile. "No need to be so defensive, girly. We…" his voice stopped when he recognized Alucard with widening eyes. "Shit. You're the messed up Hellsing girl, aren't you? The crazy sister of the hot blonde?"

"That just about sums me up at the moment." Alucard gave a slight frown and narrowed his eyes, putting his palm on the counter as he leaned his back against it. "Go away. I'm not in the best of moods at the moment." The red eyes narrowed further as the vampire realized he had been ignored and the boys were murmuring amongst themselves.

"Damn, from her figure I thought she was some cute girl we could have fun with…." "Too bad, not a bad body either…." "I could…" Their discussion was ended by a snarl and one of the boys yelped as his feet left the ground, Alucard lifting him up by his shirt. Their difference in height made the scene a little awkward.

"Would you like to repeat that for me? I'll be sure to give you a complementary lesson on the art of castration if you do. Or impalement…do you want to know how they used to do it in the good old days?"

The teens shook their heads at the dead seriousness in the inhumanly strong girl's tone. Fearing her slightly fanged smile and the flare in her demonic red eyes, they ran for the elevator before their friend was dropped to the floor. The straggling boy dodged John when he dove after his friends into the elevator, pushing the close button frantically. They noticed John and gave him a look of pity as the door closed.

"What was that about?" John looked the snickering girl over with a faint smirk.

"Educating the next generation, nothing special."

Returning to the dorm, Alucard recalled the identical reaction from John when he told the boy his answer was no, after giving him the cell phone back. He sighed, exhausted, and reached for the door to enter the dorm. Suddenly, something sickeningly sweet and sticky rained down on him like a sheet of water, making him cough and sputter with wide eyes. He looked up in time to see a hand holding a bottle retreat from the window above him. Alucard hissed at the juice that was running down his back and making his shirt cling to his skin, and he entered the building. Seras was bewildered when he walked into the room demanding her soap, shampoo, and conditioner. She gave it to him, still speechless, and stared when he left.

Alucard paused by a dispenser in the hallway, making it drop a toothbrush and toothpaste without giving it anything in exchange.

Going into the showers he stopped with a blank expression and then decided to retreat for now as he was confronted with a group of girls who were giggling and splashing water at one another. Integra would kill him if he took a shower with a bunch of high school girls, and it was probably illegal anyway…which made it a little more tempting than it should have been. He sniggered at the thought as he briefly explained his reason for returning to Seras when she insisted on questioning him, ignoring her outburst of revulsion afterwards.

"How could I overlook that?" Seras groaned, all of her energy spent after the taxing day. She eyed Alucard distrustfully. "You didn't see anything… right?"

"Nothing new and different." He disregarded the furious glare and gave his own at the floor as he thought. He started talking to himself, pacing back and forth. "I need a damn shower. Stupid girl…Who decided to freaken pour juice on me anyway? What'd I do to them? I haven't killed anyone or anything…bunch of jealous little brats…" he continued to grumble and then stood idly in the middle of the room. "Damn it!" Seras flinched at the sudden volume and looked up from her textbook on the floor. "I can't even sit down!" Red eyes flicked to the girl. "Do you have an extra towel? I can at least wash my face in the bathroom."

She gave it to him after the explanation he provided and Alucard crumpled the pink towel in his fist as he went down the hall. When he returned, he kept the towel on his head and claimed a blood packet from his luggage.

"You can't kill anyone…" Seras mumbled cautiously, observing the vampire's glare. "…please don't." she added when he gave a fanged, bloodied grin.

"I have other means for getting back at them." He snickered to himself and Seras fell quiet, focusing on her homework instead. Meanwhile, Anderson was stalking the courtyard and skirting the buildings as he searched for the target vampire or Alucard, surprised not to have run into the nosferatu yet. He strained his senses, looking for an evil aura.

Only a little put off by having to postpone the night's excursion, at midnight Alucard smiled when he opened the door and the showers were empty. He peeled off the juice crusted uniform and flung it on the tiles carelessly before going on to take his shower. He had a generous amount of toothpaste on the brush and was working the fruity taste that the blood had been unable to erase, off his tongue, then left the toothbrush in his mouth to run his hands through his hair to get rid of the last of the strawberry conditioner. Suddenly shadows flitted across and around the room, soon being registered as scriptures by the red eyes. Alucard stared, frozen in place as a familiar chuckle died violently with a choked cough when Anderson stared back at the vampire. The toothbrush fell to the floor with a dull click. Other than this fleeting sound, there was silence.

"Anderson. I'm going to have to take your eyes as compensation." Alucard recovered his voice with a sigh/growl and he lowered his arms from his head as he rinsed and spat out the toothpaste. He disappeared and reappeared next to the towel he covered himself with, unfortunately ending up closer to the pale priest. The vampire gave him a questioning look, realizing he was still staring blindly at the showers. "Anderson?"

"Aren't….you…" Anderson managed slowly and glanced at Alucard with a vacant expression. "…supposed to be a man?" Alucard's face matched his for a moment, not realizing what had been said. He gasped and his eyes burned as shadows filled the room, still wearing the pink towel.

"GET OUT OF HERE YOU BASARD PRIEST!" He snarled while he attacked Anderson, but the priest dodged. "I'M GOING TO TAKE MUCH MORE THAN YOUR EYES NOW! DAMN YOU!"

The showers were in shambles by the time Anderson managed to retreat. Alucard was grumbling to himself down the hallway, oblivious to the fact that all he was wearing was a towel, which happened to be something that was duly noted by the sleepy Seras who lifted her head from her pillow when the door slammed shut. She gawked at her Master while the ancient vampire threw the dirty uniform in the corner of the room, next to the door, and proceeded to his bed.

"Put some clothes on!" She demanded through a rapidly spreading blush.

The boys' school uniform formed out of shadows and the towel was hung up on the bed post with the other pink monstrosity the vampire had used earlier. Alucard was scowling as he readied to leave. "I'm going to kill Anderson tonight." He muttered darkly, a ominous gleam in his eyes.

"But Sir Integra said…" The Police Girl stammered timidly, confused by his anger.

"You also need to figure out if you can use a shower on the next level."

She gave him a quizzical look.

"Anderson and I destroyed this one."

There was an empty pause. "Wait!" her eyes widened and she gasped, making the springs of her bed creak when she shot up. "You don't mean he….!" Her cheeks burned.

The snap of a cartridge being loaded into the pistol cut her off and Alucard gave a haunting, humorless chuckle. "I'll castrate him, shoot out his eyes, then kill him….or maybe keep him alive for a while…" Alucard grinned and laughed again."His body will look nice on the lamppost right outside our window…it'll prove somewhat of a challenge getting him through the lamp part but that will just make it more enjoyable…." Something pink appeared in the corner of his eye and Alucard left the blood-dripping fantasy that was playing in his mind.

"Sir Integra! Sorry to wake you but Master, he…!" Alucard scowled and stole the phone from his fledgling, making her protest.

"Alucard…" came a groggy, pissed Hellsing voice. "What's going on?"

"Anderson and I destroyed the showers."

Silence. "Why?"

"Someone decided to pour juice on me."

"What does that mean?" there was a low growl on the line.

"I had to wait until now to take a shower."

"And?"

"Anderson came in. It's only fair that I kill him now."

Silence. "Are you serious?"

Alucard sighed and his hand covered his eyes for a moment. "Can I kill him?"

"No."

"You'd let me kill him if it was you he saw."

There was some stammering before Integra responded. "That's different! You're a man!"

"Not at the moment, as Father Anderson was kind enough to mention he had clearly observed." Alucard scowled at the memory.

"I…well…um…" Integra groaned and it seemed like she hit the phone on a hard surface. She cursed. "You cannot kill him. End of story, Alucard. DO NOT FIGHT HIM AT ALL! I'll call Maxwell and demand why they've decided to…"

"Anderson said he knows a few students here. They used to be orphans under his care, apparently."

"Hm." Integra sighed. "I'm going to bed... I don't think you'll see much of Anderson tonight."

"Perhaps." The vampire paused and spoke as Integra was about to hang up the phone. Fearful of giving Walter a heartattack if had been decided that the vampires should contact Integra instead of the old man. The butler did not miss his cell phone or the Funeral March tune. Alucard smiled wickedly before masking the expression. "I have some interesting information for you, Master."

Silence. "What?" Integra snapped, disliking the tone her servant had used. It suggested glee.

"Father Anderson recognizes you as a, quote: 'hot, scary, robot lady'."

There was a silence that reminded Alucard of a graveyard and he smiled at the pleasant memory.

"John referred to you like this and Anderson immediately recognized who it was."

"It was…the scary part…" the voice spoke quietly. The vampire's grin doubled with a chuckle.

"Of course, keep telling yourself this if it makes you feel better. Oh, and I do hope you have pleasant dreams tonight, Master." The line went dead. "Goodnight."

Alucard threw the pink phone at his fledgling's pillow and she put it away, blushing, but also much relieved. She fell asleep as he left through the window.

Across a frequented quad, the vampire let out an exhausted groan as a familiar silhouette stood on one of the buildings and walked towards the edge. Alucard instantly went to the base and glared up at the teen. "Don't you dare jump aga…" John jumped anyway and Alucard scowled as he had to catch him for the second time.

The boy was breathless and he smiled with a pale, clammy face. "I knew you'd be there…."

He yelped when he was dropped to the ground roughly and John gazed up at the red eyes with a stern look on his face. "Go out with me. I'll jump again if you don't."

"That's not funny." The vampire growled under his breath and John began to look hopeful.

"Go out with me, tomorrow, for dinner or something. It's not going to kill you."

"I'm tired. I've had a horrible, traumatizing day. And I almost didn't come out here, fool, and as a matter of fact, if you had jumped five minutes earlier I wouldn't have been available to catch you." Alucard glowered at him coldly and turned away from the boy who had become as white as a sheet.

"Wh…at?" The teen tried to keep some remnants of hope, beginning to get up off the ground. "You're kidding, right?" He cleared his voice and planted his feet, trying to appear unfazed. "So, I'll meet you in front of the girl's dorm tomorrow at 5:30. Don't eat dinner before then."

The vampire walked off into the shadows, and when John pursued, the dark haired girl was gone. The boy looked around nervously, then gave up, praying to the God he didn't believe in that he wouldn't have to jump off the roof again.


	12. Chapter 12

Alucard was sleeping when Seras left for her Saturday school detention, and he was still in slumber land when she returned. She frowned at what she saw as laziness and threw a pink towel at him, turning to her desk to fish around for a marker in case her Master fell asleep again. The fledgling shrieked when the towel came hurtling across the room and smacked her in the back of the head. Seras scowled as she hung up the towel where it belonged.

"Are you doing anything with your boyfriend tonight?" she ventured crossly.

The Police Girl watched her Master get out of bed and walk towards her backpack, tilting her head with curiosity. He drew out her binder and instantly set it on fire. She screeched in alarm and pleaded for him to stop, which he did…once it trickled as ash to the floor.

"I'm not into little boys." He glared at her before collapsing on the bed. Seras whimpered in the background, shifting through the pile of ash.

"That was my homework." She said, teary eyed, whimpering again. "I only asked because…"

"I unfortunately _have_ to baby sit John tonight, because the boy jumped off the roof last night…_**again**_." Alucard growled, tossing his pillow at the wall in frustration. Seras watched him meekly.

"He really does stuff like that?" murmuring, Seras was gazing at the ash. Alucard scowled.

"Yes."

There was quiet and the vampire settled to go back to sleep. Seras watched him with a blank expression. "You're a good person…for doing this, you know."

Alucard grumbled something into the pillow and then fell asleep.

Seras looked out the window sulkily as she prepared to do her homework again, recalling how she would be forced to take a shower on the next floor now that the showers on this floor were…out of commission, a.k.a in shower heaven…and reduced to rubble. She sighed and set out her textbooks.

Time passed quickly and soon the clock read 5:00 pm, yet Alucard was still sleeping. Seras chewed on the end of her pencil, watching the florescent numbers on the digital clock. "Master?" The chair creaked as she leaned back and looked at the upside down image of the ancient vampire.

"What?"

She balanced the pencil on her nose in thought. "What are you going to wear?"

"This."

The fledgling frowned in distaste and she got up, going to the door. She returned several minutes later, accompanied by another girl. They both stood next to the bed with evil smiles, causing the vampire's red eyes to peek up at them from the mattress. "What?" he mumbled and then gasped when Seras pounced on him, holding him down as the other teen unfolded the dress that was in her arms. Other garments and heeled sandals were inside the bundle.

Alucard felt two soft lumps on his back and he stared at the pillow by the wall as the Police Girl pulled off his uniform. A smirk curled his lips and he looked over his shoulder at the oblivious girl.

Seras was a little surprised at how compliant her Master was being, but she focused on unbuttoning his collar.

"Isn't it supposed to be the other way around, Police Girl?"

The fledgling froze and there was silence for several moments. She sputtered and pushed away from him, blushing indignantly. "Put on the dress." She demanded, trying to compose herself.

"No."

"Do it, or I'll draw on your face with red lipstick."

"Then I'll bite you."

Seras pouted while the other girl gave Alucard an odd look.

"I'll…I'll tell Sir Integra that you were good…" Alucard stared at Seras and she blushed with effort. "And maybe she'll send you…more…you know…treats…"

"Am I a dog now?"

"N..no…but it would make John happy." Seras stammered, losing confidence.

"Why would I want to make that pervert happy?"

The fledgling clapped her hands together with big puppy eyes. "Please. I'll get Harriet and the other girls to stop pouring juice on you and putting spiders in your bed." No one noticed as the girl next to Seras looked away guiltily.

Alucard grumbled in thought, recalling the last juice covered incident. "Fine."

"What?" Seras blurted out in disbelief, and then covered her mouth as she smiled, giggling happily.

"But you don't have to strip me, Police Girl. I know how to dress myself."

"Do you know how to put on this type of clothing...a dress, even?" Blue eyes looked him over with doubt and he smiled sadistically.

"I've taken enough off to know how to put them on…"

Seras jolted and cursed under her breath as she told her friend to give him the clothes and then leave the room with her to buy something to drink from the vending machine. When they came back, Alucard was hissing in fury as he tried to put on the complicated straps for the sandals. He complained about how idiotic the design was as Seras put her cola down to fix the shoes for him. The girls stepped back and nodded at their work.

"Are you sure she won't be cold?" the girl asked Seras, but the vampire shook her head.

Alucard was wearing a lacy white dress that stopped just short of his knees, along with a white cashmere sweater and a white beanie that contrasted pleasantly with his jet black hair. The white sandals completed the picture, making the girls want to put make up on his face, but they knew that was impossible.

"You're so cute!" the girls squealed with delight while Alucard stalked out of the room to meet with John, though it was ten minutes too early. And, unfortunately, someone other than John was in the vicinity and spotted the vampire with a gape.

"Alucard?"

The vampire snarled at Anderson and forced himself not to jump back into the dorm room to fetch his pistols, or to set Baskerville loose on the priest. "Go away, perverted Priest."

Anderson fumed at the accusation and he walked towards the black haired girl with a narrow glare. "Demon spawn." He hissed, his fingers touching the bayonets he kept in his sleeves. He was wearing pedestrian clothes, but he always kept his bayonets with him. Unfortunately Alucard did not have the same option for his guns. "What are you doing?" The priest wrinkled his nose in disgust. "Why are you wearing a dress?"

"Shut up." Alucard snapped with a glare. "I'm doing this for a reason."

"Wha…?" Anderson began, but at that moment Alucard jumped away from where he was standing and an open bottle of Snapple shattered on the concrete. The vampire hissed up at the windows while Anderson stared at the juice, dumbstruck.

"DAMN IT HARRIET! STOP DOING THAT, YOU….!" Several girls poked their heads out of their windows and started yelling at Alucard to shut up. Hissing in aggravation, the vampire walked out of the throwing range as someone tossed an open water bottle at him. Red eyes met green and he frowned at Anderson. "That's why I was forced to take a shower yesterday…" he muttered, cringing at the sound his heels made on the hard ground. "This place sucks…"

"Did you just say Harriet?" The two looked at one another and Anderson scowled. "Harriet Jones? From your Calculus class?"

"She's in my History class as well…." Alucard sighed and went to a bench that was nearby. "I hate heels…they hurt already…" he continued damning the man who invented his shoes and flopped onto the concrete bench. "How did you explain the door?"

Anderson hesitated, standing near the bench. He felt incredibly awkward, never having spoken to the vampire like this before and he looked around, not enjoying Alucard's current appearance. "I told them I didn't know what happened. No questions were asked."

"Hm." Alucard was distracted as he saw John coming into view. His eyes deadened and he hissed something under his breath, startling Anderson. "What day is it today, Judas Priest?"

Anderson was taken aback and looked where Alucard was glaring. His jaw dropped with shock at the teddy bear and the boy who was walking towards them with a swing in his step. John slowed and frowned when he noticed Anderson, sending a wave of hostility at the older man, but he smiled pleasantly at Alucard.

"You're wearing a dress!" he exclaimed in amazement and grinned when Alucard cursed at him and told him to shut up. "Happy Valentine's Day." He held out the dark brown bear that had a pink heart on its stomach, and red eyes assessed the object with disdain.

"I didn't know it was Valentine's Day." The vampire grumbled and snatched up the bear when John's face began to fall and the teen gave an injured look at Alucard's expression. John beamed when Alucard was holding the furry plushy, and then he looked smugly at Anderson, confusing the priest.

"Hello Mr. Anderson." John smirked at the older man, making the priest frown.

"You're Blake, right?"

It was John's turn to frown and he corrected Anderson. "John. Blake is my last name."

The paladin had already lost interest in the boy and he was glaring at the vampire who was staring coldly at the teddy bear. "What do you think you are doing? Demon spawn…" Anderson blinked when he found John standing in front of Alucard, gritting his teeth furiously.

"How dare you…!" he gasped when a small hand pushed him out of the way and bored eyes looked the two over. Alucard sighed and grabbed the teen, pulling him along.

"Let's get this baby sitting session out of the way, then."

John's eyes widened and he blinked at the girl. "Baby sitting…? What do you mean?"

"I mean…" the vampire sighed again and noticed that the priest was following them discreetly. "I have to make sure you stay away from high places and sharp objects."

The boy recoiled. "I don't cut myself."

"I never said you did, but you can't deny the high places part."

The boy grumbled as they neared the open gates, and soon the vampire was looking out the window of the cab, eyeing the advancing rain clouds numbly. Alucard glanced out the back window and smiled mischievously when Anderson got into a different cab that began to follow them.


	13. Chapter 13

"Is this your first time on a date?"

Alucard blinked at the sudden question and looked at the smug teen. Old memories arose in the nosferatu's mind and he smirked to himself before answering. "No."

A little disappointed, John lost his humor for a while. Then his eyes traced over the girl's porcelain skin, noticing how it blended with the dress she was wearing. He grinned and picked up the conversation again. "What did you do with your dates? Go to the movies? Out to dinner?"

Alucard wore a disturbing smile as he chuckled darkly to himself. 'You could say…that I took them to dinner."

"Did they pay for the meal?"

The vampire's smile twisted. "In a way, yes. They provided the food."

John watched the dark humor, shaking his head. Sometimes, he just couldn't understand the opposite sex. Another thought entered the boy's mind and he looked at his date curiously. "Did you ever kiss any of your past boyfriends?"

Alucard recoiled with a shudder, covering his face with his hands. "No." he said strongly, filling the boy with joy. "I don't….I've never had…" he groaned before finishing. "…boyfriends." Another shudder ran through the vampire as he was overwhelmed with disgust.

John's eyes were wide. "So I'm your first boyfriend? Even through you've been on other dates?"

Twitching, Alucard's eyes found the ecstatic teen and he frowned. "You are not my…" he flinched. "…boyfriend….little boy. And I have NEVER dated…." Another shudder. " boys." Alucard slouched in his seat miserably. Now I feel like some kind of pervert, he thought with a sigh.

John, meanwhile, had a smile that could grow no larger and he snickered. "So…your dates were girls?"

Remembering who he was talking to, Alucard scoffed as he glanced at the all too happy expression on John's face. "Not in the way you're imagining."

Crestfallen, John's eyes fell to the teddy bear on Alucard's lap. His lips tilted upward. "Do you like the bear?"

Not suspecting the question and having forgotten about the stuffed animal's presence, Alucard hesitated before murmuring a reply. "Sure."

Already used to detached responses like this, John was content with the girl's reply. Alucard picked up the bear and stared into its lifeless black eyes, seeing himself reflected in them. He blinked, his eyes widening as they distinctly saw the white-beanie-wearing girl. The vampire frowned. "I look like a frilly doll."

John stared at the displeased expression with a renewed smile. "You always do."

Suddenly glaring at the boy as the taxicab lost momentum, the vampire scowled. "I never wear frilly dresses."

"You should. You look cute."

Alucard's response was postponed by a grimace. "No…NEVER say that again."

John's eyes glinted. "But you do." He leaned towards the agitated girl, oblivious to the life-threatening situation. "You look like a princess."

The cabdriver turned to tell his passengers that they had arrived at their destination. He paused, scowling at what he found. "Kids these days." He muttered eyeing the girl who had tackled the boy on the backseat and was now pinning him down, their faces inches apart. He cleared his throat noisily and the two looked up at him in surprise. "My cab isn't a love hotel…get out."

John burst out laughing while Alucard looked like he had swallowed a silver crucifix.

"I WAS TRYING TO KILL HIM NOT SEDUCE HIM!" the vampire snarled defensively as John got out. The cab driver chuckled grimly.

"Think of a better excuse next time, girly. And be smart about boys."

The vampire started to argue, but John opened the door and pulled Alucard out, gently. Cursing blasphemous threats under his breath, Alucard didn't bother to look at his surroundings as the boy led the way. Some yards behind them, Anderson melded into the sidewalk crowd, eying the black haired girl with distrustfully as the two went down an obscure alleyway. The priest hid in the shadows as he followed the pair, watching as a figure approached the teen and the vampire.

John gasped loudly, causing Alucard to break the glare he had fixed on the ground, and his eyes stopped on the black handgun that poked out of a stranger's sleeve. The man pointed the gun at John.

"Give me all you got…and hurry!" The gun moved closer to the youth's chest. Shaking faintly, John slowly reached into his back pocket. He tried to hand the wallet to the man, but the gun met his hand instead.

"Drop it on the ground and go to the wall! Hands on your head! Now!" The boy flinched, but did as he was told, watching Alucard nervously. He was ready to throw himself between the two should things turn violent. The man faced the girl, overlooking the wallet for the moment. The gun pointed at the raven hair.

"You too. Give me your purse and go to the wall."

Alucard frowned in annoyance. "I don't have a purse."

The man started and looked at the girl's hands. He had mistaken the bear for a purse on his first glance. "Well, give me your money and jewelry."

"I don't have those either."

The man bit his tongue, a little put off by the steady red eyes and their lack of fear. Snarling, he stepped forward. "Then give me your pretty little jacket, girl. Now!"

The man licked is lips nervously as Alucard took his time responding. "It's a sweater." The man growled in outrage, but Alucard continued despite the spittle that flew in random directions from the man's clenched yellowing teeth. "It doesn't belong to me, so I can't give it to you."

"I don't bloody care who it belongs to!" Roared the man, enraged. "I'm taking the goddamn thing!"

Alucard's face was void of emotion. "No."

"NO!" the man's eyes dilated as he lunged forward, grabbing wildly at the girl to rip the sweater off her. The gun tapped against Alucard's forehead. John started to move, pushing from the wall as he twisted to face the assailant, but his step halted and he went rigid.

Alucard had somehow taken the gun from the man's hands and now had it directed at the man's sweating forehead. The nosferatu smiled pleasantly as the man blanched and tried to back away.

"Stop."

The man followed the command, swallowing noisily. He licked his chapped lips. "You don't have the guts to pull that trigger." He smiled weakly, but lost it at the easy humor that came into the flashing demonic eyes.

"Give me your money."

There was quiet as three pairs of eyes gawked at Alucard. Smirking, the vampire repeated himself.

"Give me…your money." There was an eerie giggle that made the man tremble violently as a hungry smile flashed at him. "Or I will shoot you…I haven't killed anything in a while. I miss the blood and screams."

The man's pants grew damp as a few fives fluttered to the filthy asphalt.

"Good." Alucard crooned, gazing down at the man. "Now…" the gun clicked. "…run for your worthless life."

As the man dashed away blindly, bumping into things hidden in the gloom, John stood dumbfounded as his little frilly date picked up the money and folded it, slipping the fives into the ribbon tied around teddy bear's neck. Alucard scooped up the wallet and forced it into the boy's deadened hands, bringing him back to reality.

John started at the sight of the gun. "What are you going to do with that?"

The vampire cocked an eyebrow. "No comments about what just happened?"

"Oh!" John shook his head to straighten out his thoughts. Alucard gasped uncomfortably when the boy hugged him, squeezing the vampire with a huge smile. "I'm glad you're not dead! And you're absolutely amazing Alucard! Though, you're also the scariest girl I've ever met!"

Pushing the boy away, Alucard muttered to himself as he started walking. Before John could ask the vampire where he was going, he was forced to gape when Alucard pulled his calculus teacher from behind a stack of cardboard boxes. Like a magician pulling a rabbit out of a hat, he thought absently.

"Mr. Anderson."

The priest glared down at the demon. "What?" he snapped, perturbed that he had been found out. Alucard offered him the gun.

"Here."

Anderson and John stared at the girl. The paladin frowned. "I don't want it."

The vampire smirked. "But, Teacher…" he spoke slowly. "…do you really want one of your students to be playing with something like this? Guns are supposedly deadly weapons, no matter how small they are."

Without further comment, Alucard slipped the pistol into Anderson's jacket and he whistled gaily as he went back to John. Pushing the boy forward to lead the way again, the creature laughed lightly. "This is a lot more fun than I thought it would be. What's next on the agenda, little boy? A shootout with a mob of gangsters?" He laughed again.

John gaped at his date, unable to speak for a few moments. Then he exclaimed, "I can't believe you gave that creepy teacher a gun!" Alucard's eyes went to the teen in surprise. John was looking behind them as Anderson froze in mid-step with a stupefied expression. "And look!" John growled, stopping as well to point accusingly at the priest. "He's still following us!" His eyes went back to Alucard with concern. "He's probably one of those…um…" the boy snapped his fingers, "….sexual predators you hear about on the news! And you gave him a bloody _gun_!"

Anderson looked like he had been slapped in the face while Alucard was in awe of what the boy had said for a few moments. Then he let out a roar of laughter.

"You think he's targeting me?" Alucard joked, and the monster grinned when the boy nodded vigorously. "He's a Catholic priest." John started. "You should be more worried about _yourself_, little boy."

"I'M NOT HERE TO MOLEST YOU! DAMN MONSTER!" Anderson seethed, clenching his fists so that several of his knuckles cracked.

Alucard laughed again, looking back at the priest as the two left the alley. "Go away, creepy teacher. It's not like I'm going to eat the boy or anything."

"What?" John's brow furrowed as he peered down at Alucard.

The vampire shrugged. "He thinks I'm a 566 year old vampire that preys upon little boys. I can assure you….I do not eat little boys….for fun."

John shuddered and couldn't bring himself to look at Anderson anymore. "He's deranged."

The vampire simply laughed while Anderson sulked in the darkness, all alone.


	14. Chapter 14

This is a break from the main story...a filler until I write the next chapter

and just to say...I have always wanted to do this in real life...so I'm making Alucard do this

please enjoy ^^

* * *

Alucard wandered outside the classroom. Anderson had finally realized that he had the power to throw the demon out, so he had done just that, claiming that Alucard was an evil incarnate of Satan for his reasoning. The vampire didn't mind at the moment as he went into the next room and found a microphone for the intercom. The beast snickered darkly to himself, crimson eyes sparking with twisted humor. He approached the desk the machine rested on, pulling out a chair and settling into it. He righted the mic, bringing it closer to himself, and sighed, smiling at the instrument. With a graceful movement, he flicked the on switch and readied to speak.

Back in the classroom, Anderson was in the middle of a lecture when he heard the familiar beep and faint static of the intercom. Growling as all teachers instinctively do when they hear this sound, he capped his marker and crossed his arms with a frown.

"Well?" The priest scowled at the speaker that hung over the whiteboard. "Get on with it, disruptive bastard."

As if on cue, a voice spoke.

"Hello." There was a slight pause and every student within the boarding school looked at the speakers in their classrooms. The pause ended.

"This is God."

A few hundred humans stared with lifeless eyes while a certain priest's jaw dropped to the floor in horror. The voice continued as if this was a casual, everyday conversation.

"Yes, I know we haven't spoken in a few years…or millennia….or ever…so here I am, and I just have a few things to say to you little brats." The students flinched while Anderson was speechless. "To John..er…Blake or whatever the hell his last name is…" there seemed to be the sound of someone taking a deep breath, and the humans pondered absently why God would need to breathe. "LEAVE ALUCARD ALONE!" There were shrieks and many covered their ears against the exclamation that almost seemed to rattle their teeth. In Anderson's calculus class, every student gasped and turned around to look at John who was dumbfounded. The paladin was shaking with fury, while Harriet smiled smugly at what she deemed as Alucard's stupidity.

"Since when has God had such a girly voice?" she said loudly, inciting a series of snickers.

"Harriet….something or other….you're to insignificant for me to even bother trying to remember your last name…" Harriet's, and the rest of the class's eyes were bulging and there was a brief clamoring as each student turned to look at the magical speakers. "…I do not, and I repeat, do not have a girly voice. And…stop pouring juice on Alucard. If you pour one more God damned bottle of pink shit on Alucard's head, I will smite you dead and then bring you back to life and smite you again, then pour that pink shit all over your grave." The menacing voice suddenly became bright and cheery. "I trust you understand the message?"

Harriet was twitching, confusion making her mind blank. Suddenly John spoke up with a smirk, already convinced that this was Alucard. "You said the Lord's name in vain, Alucard."

Eyes looked at the boy and then the speaker when 'God' responded.

"I am not Alucard, and, John, I'm God. I can do whatever the hell I want, and if you have a problem with that, I'll smite you as well."

John chuckled. "Smite me?"

"I will kill you, if you don't understand the word, you dumb jock."

John frowned, hurt by the remark. The voice on the intercom continued.

"And to Alexander Anderson."

The priest jolted.

"This is to the one called Father Anderson…."

The captivated audience leaned forward in their seats.

"You're fired."

Anderson dropped the marker he was holding in his hand and, before he could stop himself, he demanded, "Why?"

There was a pause and then the voice returned. "For stalking little boys."

Anderson's jaw dropped once more and all of the students gawked at their teacher. The paladin shocked the class by letting out a roar of rage and he glared at the speaker. "ALUCARD! I'LL MURDER YAH! YOU DEMON!"

"Tsk. Tsk." 'God' replied. "To kill your own God? Really now, Anderson… Now you're definitely fired…and might I ask how you plan to kill me? Blessed bayonets seem rather redundant considering where they…." The priest ran out of the room. "..draw their power from."

The students and teachers were enchanted, and they started when there was a loud sinister laugh.

"I HAVE YOU NOW DEMON!"

"So, Anderson. How did you get to Heaven so quickly?"

There were loud noises, and objects whizzing through the air. Then a sizzling sound was heard.

"Anderson, I do not appreciate this."

"LIKE HELL YOU DO! DEMON SPAWN!"

"You are excessively rude for a Catholic priest. All I want from you is your promise to stop stalking little boys…"

More crashing noises and clashes. A few listeners yelped when the intercom went dead. John's eyes were wide and empty, realizing, before anyone else, what the sounds must have meant. Eventually classes started up again, while the calculus class stared at the door. The students whispered to one another, but stopped abruptly when the door burst open and Anderson strode into the room covered in blood.

Seras, who had so far been silent, jumped out of her seat just as John did beside her in the back of the room.

"YOU KILLED ALUCARD?" the boy shrieked, gazing at the blood spotted priest. Suddenly, the intercom crackled to life, startling the priest.

"No, Father Anderson failed to kill me, of course. I'm God for goodness sake. Well…that is all for now…I'll contact you again in two millennia. Good bye." There was a click and the voice was gone.

John sunk into his seat with a sigh while Seras frowned, trying to figure out why she had been worried. Meanwhile, Anderson looked extremely disappointed and he walked slowly back to the white board and plucked his marker from the floor.

"No matter how many times I cut off his head he always grows it back…" he muttered with a few curses before resuming the class. "Damn lizard vampire."


	15. Chapter 15

The russet stained wood shone, bare, without a table cloth masking the surface while crimson placemats were covered by silverware, wrapped in a white, cloth napkin. Undead eyes stared at the display as Alucard sat across from John and waited for the waitress to set the menus down on the placemats.

"Our special today is Halibut drowned in a…"

Drowned? Scarlet eyes glanced at the waitress who seemed a bit distracted by John who was smiling at her. I didn't know a fish could drown.

"…wine vinaigrette sauce. And…" the girl continued, eventually loosing the vampire's attention.

Space cadet. Alucard thought to himself before he eyed the menu in front of him. The demon could sense that Father Anderson had followed them into the restaurant and was now seated in an unobvious corner where gloom concealed him from John's senses….if the boy had any…the nosferatu looked at the teen who was naturally flirting with the waitress, asking her what she preferred to eat when she came to this restaurant with her own boyfriend. The girl giggled as if he were the funniest person on earth, even covering her mouth with the back of her hand and blushing.

"I don't have a boyfriend at the moment."

"Oh?" John looked surprised. "But you're so pretty."

She had another laugh-attack and then leaned over John to point at and comment about the dishes she liked. John grinned at the waitress and thanked her warmly, but he made her sputter indignantly when he looked at the vampire with the same smile and asked if it wanted to try any of them.

Alucard hadn't been paying attention and the annoyance he had for the pouting waitress distracted him, so hesitated before looking at his unopened menu. Doubt began to tug at the back of his mind when he pictured himself actually eating solid food, imaging a decaying, drowning halibut in a saucepan for some reason when he thought of human food.

"What do you have that's blood oriented?" the vampire asked without looking up from the menu. He failed to notice the disgusted look he received from the girl and the stunned expression on John's face.

"Blood …what?" the waitress stammered, forcing herself not to back away from the deranged girl.

Alucard sighed and directed two narrowed eyes at the waitress, almost growling. "Never mind." He went back to exploring the menu with distaste while John was asked if he wanted any refreshments.

"I'll just have water." The boy smiled again, trying to disperse the awkwardness that had come with Alucard's strange question. He looked at his date and asked her if she wanted something.

"Red wine."

There was quiet as the two humans gaped at the girl's temerity.

"You're under aged." The waitress frowned, putting her hand on her hip for her show of anger.

"Fine. I'll have…something red." Alucard murmured, red eyes scanning the menu.

"Red?" the girl echoed, even more disturbed now. John didn't know how to respond so he just stared at his date in awe. "Like blood?"

Alucard snorted in amusement and his eyes flicked to the waitress. "Are you offering?"

"What?" the girl backed away hurriedly, but stopped when Alucard chuckled lightly and looked at the list of refreshments on the menu.

"I'll have the tomato juice…called a V8."

The girl, still uneasy about the vampire, wrote down the order before disappearing. Anderson was staring at the demon in confusion, unable to picture him drinking something so…vegetarian.

"Do you have a thing for…blood?"

Alucard looked at John for a moment before ignoring him. "I stole fifteen dollars from the mugger, so that'll cover the can of tomato juice and the…rest of the food." The creature twitched again as the image of the drowning halibut invaded his mind.

"What?" John broke in. "No. Keep it" he waved his hands in protest. "I'll pay for everything."

"I have money, I need to do something with it." The vampire was frowning as he considered the steak on the menu. If only they offered it raw…he thought and continued, passing the list of pastas and other bread oriented dishes. I might have to go vegetarian tonight… Alucard suddenly scowled at the thought. I'm a carnivore…not a rabbit….I don't eat lettuce…. Red eyes scorned the salads with contempt. Broccoli…mini trees… What the hell? They have escargot? Snails? I don't eat bugs! Never have and never will! And…we aren't even anywhere near France…so why…?

"You seem to be having a hard time." John snickered, bringing Alucard's head from behind the menu he had propped up on his placemat. John noticed this and he smirked. "You're really short, you know."

The nosferatu blinked rapidly and gave a crooked smile. "At the moment…I'm a girl, so I'm not going to be over six feet tall…I scare people as is."

The teen's eyes grew and then he laughed good humouredly. "A six foot Alucard? That _is_ scary."

"Over six feet." The vampire corrected absently and went back to reading the menu with a frown.

John smiled at the dark haired girl and noticed how the light made her pitch hair shimmer pleasantly. "I think you're perfect as you are."

"Hm." Alucard wasn't listening now, having just found a promising tomato bisque. Very red, the vampire mused and his lips twitched into a slight smile at the memory of the delicious liquid. The boy saw this as a response to what he had said and he smiled with a sense of victory as he picked up his own menu.

Suddenly a glass of water, filled with clinking ice cubes, was lowered onto a coaster in front of John while the V8 wasn't set on a coaster so that it would slide over to Alucard, allowing the waitress to keep a safe distance from the vampire. The girl's eyes lingered on John as he smiled and thanked her. She returned the smile before scurrying away to a different table. Alucard was watching the can, noting without interest that the girl had not bothered to offer him the option of pouring the juice into another glass. She's not getting one cent of my fifteen dollars….the vampire sighed dejectedly, resigning to opening the can and bringing it to his face so that he could glare at the red liquid. Alucard didn't bother smelling the concoction of vegetable blood before he brought it to his lips and swallowed his first sip. His whole body went rigid and his eyes squinted shut as a shudder rippled down his spine. A cough caught John's attention and he stood halfway out of his chair, concern written all over his face.

"Are you okay? Alucard?" He said the nosferatu's name again as Alucard took a few seconds to respond with a nod. The boy paused, unconvinced as the girl failed to open her eyes. "Are you sure about that? I thought you were choking…"

Red eyes finally opened and the undead being relaxed his taut muscles, only a single un-voluntary twitch remained, but Alucard ignored it. "I'm fine." The vampire cringed with an added scowl as he heard his own voice crack. "I'm fine."

This time the response was strong and a little intimidating because of the growl that rolled behind it, so John sat back down, sulking as he considered his date to be unsatisfied with the restaurant at the moment.

Scratch the tomato bisque…Alucard said mentally and glared at his menu. Just because it's red doesn't mean it's going to taste better than the other crap here. Then another thought interrupted his stream of consciousness. "I'd never eaten a tomato before…" he mumbled and flipped the menu over after scanning through the individual pages. The list of various wines teased his taste buds and he irately turned the menu over to start all over again.

"You've never eaten tomatoes before?" Undead eyes flicked up to John's incredulous expression and then blinked in acknowledgment before falling to the lists of dishes. "So you don't like them?"

"Guess not…and I'm still paying for the drink." Alucard turned the page, the sound muffling John's frustrated 'humph'.

"No."

"Yes." The vampire chewed his lip in thought, considering the minestrone soup…or at least trying to figure out what it was like from the description. Liquid food is my best bet…

"No."

"Yessss. I am." Maybe…steak is better? It is meat…and it has blood in it…more so if I request that it is prepared extra rare…

"_I _am paying for everything…and that's final. I'm the guy. I pay for stuff."

"Then I can pay for stuff too." No. Steak is too tough. I can't digest something that had been grilled…I don't think…hmmm

"Are you saying you're a guy?"

"Sure." That only leaves the salads…can I eat vegetables? The juice was…revolting…like…can't even describe…

"You're not a guy, Alucard."

"I'm a man." Kid's being annoying…can't concentrate with stupid questions coming every other second…

"You wear white panties…"

The menu slapped onto the table violently revealing Alucard's wide crimson eyes as he stared at the boy. "Did you just say what I think you…?" The demon shook his head, trying to recall the mindless responses he had been giving. Out of the corner of his eye he found Anderson gawking obviously in their direction, disgust marring his features along with a slight blush. "Damn it. Anderson misinterpreted that…If he tells Maxwell and the leech reports this to Integra…" Alucard groaned in his hands, forgetting the teen for a moment as he rubbed away a threatening headache. Stress…or was it annoyance that was piling on him? I miss the mugger already…would have been fun to shoot him…or at least make him scream a little and beg for mercy… I think I even miss having a master to tease…and killing ghouls… God, I'd steep so low as to enjoy killing ghouls? It's pathetic, what boredom does to a person…

"Who's Maxwell?" John demanded, his face was riddled with confusion. "And why are you bringing up that…mentally ill, stalker-teacher?"

Alucard couldn't help but snort at the reference and he ignored the first question entirely, simply jutting his thumb out at the priest in the corner. Anderson paled in horror when he saw that John had jumped out of his seat and was pointing directly at him in disbelief, but he calmed a little when Alucard appeared to have quieted the boy and convinced him to settle back into his seat.

"It's creepy!" John brought a fist to the table and glowered at the priest in the corner. "Why is he following you?"

"He thinks I'm dangerous and he's overprotective of children…so he's here to make sure I don't eat or rape you."

There was quiet and the voices of others in the restaurant occupied the air as John's head slowly turned to face Alucard, his mouth a tight line. He stared at the vampire for a few seconds before attempting to speak. "Eat…or…rape…me?"

"Yes."

"That's completely psychotic!" A few people jerked and looked at John before returning to their meals while Anderson pouted in his corner, crossing his arms indignantly.

"Heathen brat." The paladin muttered, his eyes boring into his tea-occupied table. He took a sip of the refreshment and then crossed his arms again.

"I applaud your choice of words, but…that's the hard truth. Anderson is just protecting you, so ignore him…makes him happy, anyway." Alucard mumbled over his menu, resuming his hunt for something that wouldn't make him want to hurl.

"You like him, don't you?" John accused without warning.

"What do you mean?" the vampire's gaze refused to leave the plastic covering on the menu in his hands. "He's like a close and beloved…mortal enemy."

The boy was struck dumb for several moments. "That's not a normal teacher/student relationship…hell….that's not normal no matter how you look at it."

"Special. Just think of it like that. Special. He absolutely abhors me."

John cringed and shot another dagger filled glare at the man in the corner before looking at his date. "Do you hate him?"

"Hm? No. Don't really hate him…it's just like…he's yin and I'm yang. Opposites." A human and a monster. Alucard blinked and his eyes ran over the lists of soups for the tenth time. "Do you know what minestrone soup is like? Is it thick? And does it have lots of noodles? I can't eat things made out of grain or flour."

John was a bit taken aback by the response he had gotten and the sudden change in topic so he stuttered before he answered. "Wh…what? Um…soup…it's like brothy and stuff…I don't think brothy is a word…but you get the concept, right? And it has those little shell noodles in it…not a lot though. It mainly has vegetables and the soup part."

"Shell…noodles?" Alucard looked at John and then the menu and crinkled his nose. "Made out of shells or in the shape of shells?"

"What?" The boy's mouth slowly grew into an awkward smile and he laughed. "Pff. Of course it's the shape. Haven't you seen them before?"

"No. I'm…not interested in food, so I haven't wasted time looking into the varieties…"

John's eyes widened a little as he looked Alucard over. "Have you ever been to a restaurant before?"

"No…I've been to one or two, but I most certainly haven't eaten in one." Integra…or even Arthur…would have had a fit…tasting the waitresses is forbidden…same with the maids…unfortunately. Arthur had some nice ones…dressed in French maid uniforms…now _that's_ a real meal…comes with its own entertainment…

The teen suddenly seemed a little sad and excited at the same time. "That's why you're having so much trouble ordering, isn't it?"

"Sure." Alucard glanced at the priest and found him analyzing their table with a blank expression. "He can hear us pretty well, can't he?"

"What?"

"Nothing." Alucard answered and looked down at the menu, knitting his brow. "I…believe…" A finger stabbed into the menu after it was laid flat on the table. "…I'll order the minestrone soup. It's Italian, right?"

"I think so…this place has a variety of foods from different countries…that's why I chose it. I didn't know what you'd like….but they don't have peapods."

"Peapods?" Red flashed at John. "You still remember that?"

"It wasn't that long ago…and it was funny…" John looked at his own menu, having already picked out a simple (gourmet) fish and chips dinner. "I should call you that…"

"What?" Alucard smirked at the absurd comment. "Peapod?"

"No, sweet pea." John looked up with a broad smile. Alucard's eyes were wide. "Cute, right? 'Cuz you're small…and sweet."

"I am not sweet…or small…." The vampire scowled, overcoming his initial shock. "It's sickening."

"Sweet pea."

"Die a painful and agonizing death." Alucard spat back reflexively and frowned with a narrowed glare.

"Painful and agonizing…that's just saying the same thing twice."

"Because I want your death to be doubly painful."

"That's not nice…or healthy."

"Then don't call me…that name…even princess is better…"

"Alright, _princess_."

Alucard hissed and his hands clenched on the table as he leaned on it, towards John who was snickering. "Do you want me to hit you?"

The boy ignored the threat. "Princess or sweet pea? Which is it?"

"If it's either I'm going to bury you in an unmarked grave."

"So cruel." The boy sighed dramatically.

"Get used to it." Alucard smirked, and then frowned sharply as he looked around the restaurant. "Where's that waitress?"

When the vampire gave his order after John, the girl sneered behind her notepad. "Red?"

The dead being blinked in relative surprise and gave a small smile. "I didn't know it was red." The girl was about to apologize when a chuckle interrupted her. "That's what one calls a…bonus? Red is always welcome on my plate."

Now the waitress lost some of the healthy pallor on her face and turned away from the girl to stare with wide eyes at John who seemed a little embarrassed. When the girl had left, John frowned at his date. "Seriously…what's up with the red thing? I've never seen you eat…at breakfast..lunch…or dinner in the cafeteria…so I…"

"You have breakfast and dinner in there as well?" Alucard remembered his fledgling and the evenings where his room was filled with girls.

"Not many people eat breakfast or dinner there…they have mini fridges where they keep milk for cereal in the morning and they go out for dinner since the cafeteria food…isn't that great…but it's cheap…so I eat there."

"You have financial problems? And you go to _that_ school?"

"No. It's just that my spending money is limited now…since that privilege was abused in the past." John picked up his glass and he swirled the water and melting ice cubes. Alucard recalled the past behavior the boy had confessed to so he didn't comment or question and instead watched the ice cubes. His eyes found the can of vegetable juice and a pale hand picked it up.

100% VEGETABLE JUICE

**Ingredients: **Reconstituted vegetable juice blend (water and concentrated juices of tomatoes, carrots, celery, beets, parsley, lettuce, watercress, spinach), Salt, Vitamin C (ascorbic acid), Natural flavoring, Citric acid

The vampire stared at the can for a few seconds and then frowned, unable to make sense of the list. "Reconstituted vegetable juice blend?" John looked up and caught the odd expression on the demon's face. "Natural flavoring?" Alucard put the can down and pushed it to the middle of the table. "This is supposed to be healthy? What happened to using fresh ingredients?"

"The front says 'from concentrate with added ingredients'." John was also looking at the can now, though he didn't hold as much interest in it. Alucard reached out and turned the metal cylinder so that the front was facing him and he read the same line.

"I don't even know where this stuff came from…and I just drank it?" Alucard shook his head in mild disbelief.

"It came from a farm." John stated bluntly. The teen had his fist buried in his cheek, his elbow on the table. "From the ground or from a bush… There aren't many possibilities."

"But what happened to the vegetables after that? Do they extract the juices? Or do they blend the entire vegetable? And then what kind of state were the vegetables in? Were they perfect and ripe? I doubt it." The vampire made an expression of disgust. "They probably used cheep leftovers that the food stores would not accept or could no longer sell."

John blinked at the argument, a little put off by how random and meaningless it was. "Don't they have regulators checking the ingredients? They have to be approved first."

Alucard gave an unpleasant smirk and he glared at the illustration on the front of the can. "I've seen people survive off of things that would make one sick by just looking at it…so I question the quality of vegetables that are soon reduced to _dehydrated_ vegetable _juice_….no one can tell if it's just scraps after it's made into the V8 juice..." The vampire sighed and looked out into the middle of the restaurant absently. "This is a stupid conversation."

The boy paused before laughing at the girl who looked at him dully. "At least it's a conversation. I've been with girls who seem to be walking zombies, unable to think or answer anything with the least amount of intelligence that would suggest that they even had a brain."

Chuckling at the irony in the statement, the undead being smirked to himself and leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms, almost mirroring the paladin who was spying on them in the corner. "Like ghouls?"

"A ghoul's a ghost, right?" the boy was lost, not understanding why his date seemed to pick out the strangest details from what he said. And I was complimenting her…he bit his lip.

"No. Ghouls are like zombies. Mindless slaves that eat human flesh with an insatiable hunger." John had gone a few shades lighter, staring strangely at the girl. It was quiet for a moment while the paladin scowled something about stealing the boy's innocence, in the background.

"You're emo, aren't you?" Alucard's face went blank while the priest had the same expression. John scrutinized the girl's face and then tilted his head thoughtfully. "You're totally a goth chick in disguise, obsessed with blood, and the night, and vampires and stuff…" The boy realized his tone and he sat up, shaking his head nervously. "But that's okay, you know? People like to have their individuality or whatever…uniqueness is a good thing, mostly." Alucard was still staring at him, but John was looking at his lap now. "But you don't do those sketchy, Satanic rituals where you kill cats and animals…you're not into the black magic mumbo gumbo… are you? Because I have to admit, I'm a little weirded out when people start chanting with smoke and candles….and try to marry the Devil…"

Alucard was still unresponsive when the teen ventured a glance at his date, his face full of worry. At this, the vampire gave in to a fit of laughter that disturbed a few tables, causing many narrowed eyes to glare at the couple.

"Who in their right mind marries Satan? If you want to go to Hell just become a serial killer, or a pedophile like the Judas Priest."

Anderson ruffled at this statement and he had to take a choking gulp of his tea in order to control his temper and force himself not to impale half a dozen bayonets through the wretched creature.

Alucard had quieted down and he grinned disagreeably at the teen. "I don't kill _animals_, so rest easy knowing _that._" He chuckled again and John gave a confused smile, unsure whether he should be comforted by the suggestive tone or not.

"But are you a goth chick?"

The vampire's eye twitched. "No, I'm not. I tend to wear a lot of red, white, and black. I like the moon and the night, but I'm not what you generally consider a goth to be. I'm Catholic, not Satanic. I'm not a witch. I like candles, but not so much the smoke… But, you shouldn't stereotype and limit people who are interested in these things to being death-loving, anti-social adolescents. Wearing black and liking the color black doesn't mean anything other than the fact that the clothes you are wearing are a specific color because you like that specific color. If someone likes pink and they wear only pink, other than making others want to hurl, there's no harm in it."

It was John's turn to stare blankly at the person sitting across from him, and he chewed on the side of his mouth in thought. "Pink makes you want to hurl?"

"If worn excessively…a little." The demon's eyes flicked to the waitress who was approaching the table with their food. "Do you suppose they have to pay for the expresses if they trip and break the dishes and ruin the food, or do they just get fired?"

"Both…at least that's how it was for me." Alucard glanced at the teen as his dinner was positioned on the table, the napkin and utensils already having been pushed to the side. Next, the minestrone soup was lowered onto a placemat and the waitress retreated without a word.

Alucard watched the steam rise up off of the soup while John and Anderson watched under the weight of the growing suspense. The vampire's lips parted after a moment of thoughtfulness.

"They do look like shells."

John snorted and then laughed to himself while Anderson just stared for a bit and went back to drinking tea.

Alucard had fished one of the noodles out with his spoon and he looked it over, noticing the subtle details carved into the noodle to give it texture. "That's pretty interesting…makes you wonder how they do it…"

John smiled, his mouth full of fish at the moment. He swallowed and reached for the ketchup that was keeping the V8 company at the center of the table. "Can't you take it for granted that people made this for you to eat, and then put the food in your mouth and eat it?"

The vampire didn't look away from the noodle as he lowered it to the side of his dish. "I don't take anything for granted…and doing that just makes things boring. You have to have some curiosity or else you'll fall dead from boredom."

John laughed again and ate a French-fry, offering one to the nosferatu who glared at it hatefully before declining. He watched the boy eat another and he scowled.

"Might as well replace your heart with a potato…those things will make the organ just as useless."

John coughed and hit his chest to keep himself from choking, while wide eyes found Alucard's face. An awkward smile postponed his response. "You know…you're really cute sometimes."

The vampire gaped at the boy before he could stop himself and stammered an unintelligible, "What?"

Anderson had spat out a spray of tea and was now shakily cleaning the mess with his napkin.

The boy grinned smugly to himself as he selected a French-fry and held it up. "You say the weirdest things…" he chuckled. "…like these will turn my heart into a potato? Who even thinks that way?"

The demon was frowning and he growled slightly. "I was saying it will kill you. Dead. Done. Deceased." Alucard scowled at the smiling face. "Just shove them into your arteries and be done with it."

John laughed at Alucard and then stuck the fry into his mouth and chewed it gratefully. "I'd rather shove them in my mouth. They taste better that way."

The vampire just grumbled as the youth continued eating the fried potatoes to spite him, and eventually red eyes found the soup again, noting the abandoned noodle on the side. The spoon was reclaimed and then lowered to the contents of the bowl.

"You enjoyed the soup?" John was smiling at Alucard, but his joy increased when the vampire nodded and then stood.

"I'll be back in a second." The vampire walked off towards the heart of the restaurant.

"I'll just pay the bill and call a taxi. Meet you outside?"

A raised thumb over the shoulder was the only response the boy got before Alucard turned a corner and disappeared behind a hedge of plastic plants. The boy gazed after Alucard for a moment, then took the pen and looked at the receipt. "At least she acts a little like a girl. They can't go forty minutes without checking themselves out in a mirror…though I don't blame them…" he smirked at the joke and set a credit card beneath the receipt and handed it to the waitress when she circled back to him from her other tables. She returned a while later and he signed the new receipt and searched through his wallet to leave the girl a tip on the table.

Meanwhile, Anderson had seen the vampire leave, knowing well the fact that vampires don't need to use the bathroom, and that Alucard wasn't leaving to brush his hair or fix his makeup…. The thought made the priest sick and he had to shake the image out of his head. The demon wasn't wearing makeup…he tried to reassure himself, but shuddered instead and stood to follow the beast. He quickly rounded the divider, brushing past the fake leaves without noticing them as he saw that Alucard was about to disappear behind a door.

Alucard tried to shut the door, but it was suddenly held firm by a familiar hand. The vampire hissed at the priest and attempted to close the door without breaking it, but a foot accompanied the hand, making the task futile. "What are you doing, Priest? Leave."

"What are you doing, Demon?" Anderson checked over his shoulder to make sure no one had noticed them.

The vampire growled at the priest and was forced to let go of the door when he saw it bend unnaturally, threatening to snap. "Fine!" He turned away while Anderson quickly stepped into the unisex bathroom, closing and locking the door.

"Now tell me what you're up to, De…" he turned as he spoke, his eyes landing on Alucard just in time to see the vampire hurl out the contents of his stomach. Anderson jolted and backed into the door while Alucard mumbled something before throwing up again and repeating himself.

"Now leave, Judas Priest, before I coat your shoes with vomit."

Aghast, the Iscariot couldn't think as he watched the creature spit up more blood and, probably, minestrone soup. He closed his mouth when he realized it was open, and furrowed his brow. "Then why did you eat it?"

"Shut up and leave. My threat wasn't a bluff. I will ruin your shoes without hesitation." The vampire wasn't looking at the priest now.

Anderson was quiet and he watched a shudder run through the demon. He looked away, to the single sink and mirror, when Alucard was sick again. "Why did you come here with the boy?"

Alucard cursed for a moment and then registered that Anderson had asked him a question. "I'm going to eat him because all of the stories say I love eating teenage boys, Priest." The man dismissed the sarcastic tone, but glared at the vampire until it laughed with grim humor. "I didn't feel like coming across a pile of gore when I went on patrol at night."

"What do you mean?" Anderson didn't appreciate the response, and it showed in a deep growl that affected his voice.

"He has jumped off the roof once to kill himself and once because he's a moron who thought I would show up if he did."

Anderson lost all emotion and simply stared as the vampire stood up and cleaned any blood he had left on the floor with a wet paper towel. The vampire finished and was at the sink, washing his hands, when Anderson chose to speak again. "So he's…"

"A normal kid." Alucard cut in without looking at the priest, turning off the sink to grab a paper towel to dry his hands. "He just has a thing for rooftops." Anderson didn't comment and Alucard stepped towards the wall and began to faze through it with a half-hearted explanation for the unusual exit. "…So no one thinks that a dirty old man like you was doing something inappropriate with a young girl in the bathroom." Then he was gone.

Anderson was stunned for a few seconds, but he soon turned red with fury and cursed the demon to the pits of Hades. He opened the door and slammed it behind himself, cracking it in half and scaring a waitress who lost her balance and dropped her tray on the floor. After apologizing and helping the shaken girl pick up the mess, he left the restaurant to find that the demon had taken the boy and left him behind.


	16. Chapter 16

The long, messy braid swung like dog's wagging tail as the Frenchman strolled down the sidewalk, his smug grin telling of his awareness of the watchful gazes coming from the teenage girls he passed. He didn't really have any interest in any of them, especially those under eighteen, but he didn't mind the attention or the friendly waves and smiles he received. He would wave back or flash a smile of his own, showing off his eye patch and subtly checking for their responses. Most of the girls were shocked by the uncommon characteristic, while some seemed to like the old wound a little too much.

And so, Pip Bernadette made his way towards the girl's dormitory, sporting his shiny 'Guest' tag that was pinned to his T-shirt. His hat shaded his eyes from the red rays coming from the fading sun behind him as he peered up at the tinted windows and eventually passed under a doorway and entered the dorm. He explained to the huffy woman who sat behind a counter, glaring daggers into him, that he was a bodyguard for the Hellsing family and had come to check on the two Hellsings living in this dorm. He also claimed that their guardian, Integra Hellsing, had wanted him to deliver a box of chocolates.

Aggressively, the woman's ringed fingers jabbed into the buttons on her phone as she continued to glower at the man. She told the girl who picked up that someone was here to see Miss Seras and Miss Alucard. Pip had to flinch when the woman called Alucard 'Miss', but he hid it with a cough aimed into his fist.

"They'll be down shortly." The protective woman growled at Pip and threw her hand at the open door. "Stand over there."

"Thank you." Pip nodded with an amused, and always reckless, grin, and he backtracked to the entrance to make the woman more comfortable. Seras appeared when the door of the elevator slid open, and gasped when she saw Pip. Harriet had come to her rescue earlier, to help her redo her calculus homework, so she had accompanied the fledgling vampire to meet whoever had come to see her. The girl's eyes widened and then narrowed, scrutinizing the mercenary as she followed Seras to the door.

"It's you?" Seras gaped at Pip even as she walked, causing the man to laugh.

"Is that how you greet me after not seeing each other for a whole month?" He opened his arms and adjusted his hat while he continued to chuckle.

"I liked the quiet." Seras replied dryly, her face slack with discontent. "No one would miss your disgusting songs."

"My." Pip pretended to be stunned by the comment, though he allowed himself to smile. "I thought you liked my songs. They're quite educational." He smirked at the glare he received from Seras before she passed him and went outside to get away from the desk-woman's sharp eyes. She went to a bench and the others followed, but none of them sat down. Harriet eyed Pip for a few more moments, chewing on her lip thoughtfully. Her eyes went to Seras.

"Is this guy your boyfriend?"

Pip and Seras stared at the girl, one full of amazement while the other suffered from horrified embarrassment. "This pervert is NOTHING even close to a boyfriend!"

Pip was laughing, ducking his head while one of his hands traveled to his hat and took it off. He straightened and pressed the hat to his chest as he smiled at Harriet. "And who is this? I thought at first that it was Mr. Alucard again, but I guess not."

Seras stiffened, staring at the mercenary while Harriet frowned and crossed her arms at the insult. "I look nothing like that… I look nothing like Alucard. She's short and plain and…ugh!" The girl's hair flew about her face as she jerked her head away from Pip. She calmed a little and faced him again. "Why does everyone seem to refer to her as a guy?"

"He's just stupid." Seras said darkly, causing Pip to look at her with an unserious frown. "…Anyways, I'm the only one here." She added and then dropped her eyes to the arm of the bench, shifting her weight from one foot to the other.

"Where is…" Pip hesitated, squeezing his eyes shut and then opening them again. "…she?"

"She's on a date with her boyfriend." Harriet hissed angrily and plopped herself onto the bench. Pip's jaw dropped a few inches, and for once, all signs of humor fell from his face.

"HE'S DOING WHAT WITH A WHAT NOW?" Pip turned on Seras who was already lunging at him to cover his mouth. A few heads appeared in the dorm windows and lingered there, watching the group inquiringly. The vampire muttered a short curse and dragged the man around the corner of the building, into its shadow and under the leaves of a towering oak tree. Harriet came with them, her blank expression reflecting her mind as she watched the two argue quietly. She couldn't hear them very well.

"He does not have a boyfriend. He does not have a boyfriend!" Seras kept Pip bent over so that his face was closer to her own. She noticed the awkwardness but stubbornly ignored it, though her cheeks colored slightly. "John is a kid he's helping out. He's actually acting like a normal person with a heart, for once. It's probably because he hasn't had anything to kill for a while so now he has to find a new hobby." The girl winced at her own bitterness and then sighed guiltily. She was just mad at her Master for burning her homework and for being so ungrateful for the help she gave him for the date. "No, it's not a hobby. I think it's pity or some form of care. John was going to end up getting himself hurt if he had been left alone for much longer." Blue eyes glanced at Harriet, content to find that she could not hear them properly.

Pip was still recovering from his unpleasant shock, so he was oblivious to the closeness the two were sharing. "Oh…that's…okay then." He rubbed the back of his head, making his braid messier, and then played with the hat in his hands. "I was supposed to deliver the Valentines box to him."

Seras blinked and her grip on Pip's shirt loosened. Her lips parted as she blinked again. "Sir Integra sent him chocolates?"

The sun had set, leaving only a splash of red in the sky and the lamps sputtered to life. Seras looked at the lights before turning her attention to Pip's response.

"I doubt it. It doesn't feel like there's chocolates in it. More like something liquid. Probably more…food for him." The single green eye watched the grass as the man slowly became conscious of the tempting opportunity he had before him. The distracted girl wouldn't be able to dodge quickly enough to avoid a kiss.

"Oh, more blood packets." The fledgling let go of the pink shirt and stepped back, disappointed for some unknown reason. She sighed while Pip cursed himself for missing out on such a promising opportunity. He handed her the box.

"Blood packets?"

A green eye moved to Harriet while Seras froze, a tiny gasp splitting her lips. She instantly broke out in a nervous laugh and smiled at the girl, moving her fingers anxiously by her side. "Anemic…s..she's anemic so…s…she needs blood transfusions."

Harriet narrowed her eyes suspiciously, then gave in to a pleased smirk. "Is she now?"

Pip watched the girl for a moment, his mouth a flat line on his face. "Do you not like…A..lucard?" He faltered, unused to referring to the vampire by only his name.

"No." Harriet growled without hesitating, and she crossed her arms again. "She threw me on a bed once. She's like an inhuman freak."

Pip's alarmed gaze went to Seras, but she didn't look at him. Quietly, she defended her master. "You pulled her hair first, Harriet."

Blazing eyes stabbed into the blonde girl as Harriet inhaled sharply. "She deserved it." She snapped back.

"Damn." Pip whistled, looking at the lamps he could see shining in the thickening darkness. "You're lucky you're alive."

"What?" Harriet's lips pursed and she glared at the mercenary. She soon turned her eyes to Seras who was also watching Pip. "I'm cold. Let's go in?"

"S…sure." Seras' stared down at her shoes for a moment. "I don't think you give him enough credit." She muttered to the Frenchman as she turned to leave with Harriet. Pip's eye followed her to the corner, then returned to the lamps. He moved backwards until he could lean against the wall comfortably, and a hand went inside the open jacket he was wearing. He shook the package he took out until a single cigarette stuck out of a hole he had torn in one of the corners. Putting the cigarette between his lips, the man's features were lit with the flame from his lighter, and then darkened again when he put it away. He inhaled the smoke and nicotine thoughtfully, and stuffed his hands into his pocket to wait for the nosferatu to return, hiding under the ledge when a short lived shower of rain fell and then cleared away.

*~*~::..+..::~*~*

It was a curious thing to see the vampire wearing a white dress, and Pip had to take another drag on his cigarette as he watched two figures approach the dorm. Alucard was wearing a jacket that didn't match his white attire while the boy, who Pip assumed was the mysterious John, wasn't wearing a jacket as he carried a teddy bear in his arms, even though it was chilly outside.

It was a very curious thing indeed.

Pip dropped his stub of a cigarette on the ground beside the other scattered butts that had accumulated, and he ground it into the dirt and grass with the toe of his shoe. He waved at the vampire, a snicker coming before he could speak. "Oi! _Miss_ Alucard!" He chuckled at the obvious look of disdain he received after the vampire paused, stopping with John. Alucard went to the mercenary with the teen following him unwillingly.

John took in the mercenary suspiciously, looking him up and down and glancing at Alucard occasionally. The vampire stared dully at the man and then smirked. "It's you."

Pip snorted and stepped away from the wall, remaining in the shadows. "The girl said the same thing when she saw me."

"Hm." Red eyes darted to the litter beside the building. "Did Integra send you?"

"Wait." John cut in, drawing attention to himself. He squinted at Pip in the dark. "Who is he?"

Pip's mouth twitched. "I'm right here. You can ask _me_ that."

"Then come out of the shadows. I've had enough of perverted wackos for one day."

Pip looked at Alucard as if the title described him, and the nosferatu scowled crossly. The mercenary came into the light originating from a nearby lamp post. "He's referring to the priest, Father Anderson."

It took a moment for Pip to recall who that was. "Oh. The big guy with the funny accent." He chuckled softly and leaned back on his heels. He fixed his balance when Alucard smiled at what he had said.

"Yes. The 'big guy with the funny accent'."

"You have an accent too." John cut in once more, biting the side of his mouth as he observed the eye patch and the hat the man was wearing, along with the long braid that was draped over his shoulder. "You're French or something."

Pip stared at John, peering at him without betraying any of his thoughts. "No need to be so rude, kid. I'm not giving you any reason to hate me."

"I know Mr. Bernadette." Alucard spoke to John while his eyes stayed on Pip. "He works for Integra Hellsing."

John calmed a little at this.

"Aw." Pip tilted his head at the little girl Alucard appeared to be at the moment. "That's cold. I thought we were friends, comrades in arms."

"Since when have we been friends?" The red eyes became a glare. "I can see that you have no business with me now, if you have already met with the Police Girl. Since you have met the boy, John, scurry along." Alucard growled at the mercenary who laughed it off as the small figure moved away to leave him behind with John. The teen moved closer to Pip and grinned, comforted by the way Alucard and the man interacted.

"Yeah, she says that same thing to me every time, too." Pip glanced at the tall boy, interested in the person Mr. Alucard could possibly show kindness to. John smirked as he went on. "But I still got her to go on a date with me and I even got to see her panties once." Alucard stopped rigidly while Pip let out a pained yelp and staggered away from John with his face buried in his hands.

"Oh my God, no!" He groaned, falling against the trunk of the oak, all strength in him having disappeared. "No…bad things! Bad things!" He pressed into the tree as images flashed into his mind. Very, very disturbing and traumatizing images. Pip shuddered and rocked a little on his feet. Dumbfounded, John stood where he was, staring at the suffering being. He flinched when Alucard ripped the mercenary away from the tree, shaking the grown man.

"Out! Get that out of your head, now!" He snarled menacingly. Pip let out some kind of twisted moan.

"I'm trying. My God, am I trying." His hands lifted from his face and he saw Alucard. Instantly he recoiled and covered both his working and useless eye. "Oh God…you're a pedophi…"

Alucard's eyes burst with fury and he shook Pip until his head lolled. The man took his hands away from his face to try and stop the vampire. "I AM NOT! I WILL KILL YOU IF YOU SAY THAT AGAIN! I SWEAR I WILL! I'LL SEE YOU SUSPENDED ON ONE OF THOSE FLAGPOLES IN NO TIME AT ALL!"

"Oh God, but the underwear and the…ugh." Pip managed in a pitiful voice when Alucard stopped shaking him, and he backed away from the vampire unsteadily. He groaned and then was quiet, his eye shut tight as his hands strained as fists by his sides. "That's going to give me nightmares for sure."

"Oh damn you!" The vampire shoved Pip away from the dormitory with a snarl of disgust. "Get out of here!" He spun around to point menacingly at John, startling the boy who backed away instinctively. "Stop saying idiotic, useless, perverted, untrue things!"

John's mouth was an indignant frown. "But I did see them."

"It was the damned uniform! Don't make it sound like anything else, or I will be sure to knock you senseless!"

After this last outburst, the vampire stalked away and disappeared around the corner, abandoning the paralyzed humans. Pip grumbled as he left the school, regretting the curiosity that had led him to stay behind in order to speak with the vampire and perhaps meet the boy named John. "I'm sure of it…" He murmured, pulling up the collar of his jacket. "…I'm going to have nightmares tonight."

*~*~::..+..::~*~*

Alucard tugged on the doorknob and then grumbled irritably when he found that it was locked. He pounded on the door. Some scrambling was heard before Seras poked her head out into the hallway, her eyes lowering to find her master glaring up at her. "Move."

She maneuvered out of his way as he marched to his luggage to retrieve his guns for the night's hunt. He set one pistol on the bed when Seras had closed the door, and went back to get a blood packet (Seras had put the two packets that had been inside the box of chocolates into his luggage). Then he sat down on the mattress and drank his food quietly.

Seras stared at him for a while, then indicated the jacket he was wearing with a jerk of her head. "Why are you wearing that? It's John's, isn't it?"

Red moved down to the jacket and then wandered over the wall opposite of the bed. "It rained and I got wet."

"That wouldn't bother you."

"Under normal circumstances you would be correct Police Girl, but as you and your _kind_ friend made me wear white…clothes, when it rained…they became see-through."

"O..Oh." Seras stammered, going back to her own bed. Alucard unzipped and shrugged off the jacket as he peeled off the dress and sweater while his other clothes were forming to cover him, letting the blood packet dangle from his mouth. "What did you guys do?"

Alucard removed the blood packet. "Dinner and movie and stuff. I might tell you later." The vampire continued with what he was doing. When he was done he pushed the pile of clothes and sandals away, but then paused, looking at the jacket.

"Hm."

The Police girl peeked at her master. "What?"

"I left the boy along with the present he gave me."

The girl waited for him to go on, but he didn't as he took his gun and slipped it into his blue jacket, moving towards the window. "What was it?" She asked, finally.

Alucard stopped for a moment. Without turning around, he answered. "It was a teddy bear."

When the vampire was gone, his fledgling allowed herself the freedom of laughing at what he had said. "Master and a teddy bear." She giggled into her pillow. "Now, I would _pay_ to see that."


End file.
